EDITORIAL: Letting Go: 3 Scenarios Where Love Just Ain’t Enough

by Bo Sellers

Sometimes I meet people who instantly speak to my soul.  It’s this exact scenario that led me to discover I actually prefer women. I love being in love and I love loving. Everyone you meet has a unique purpose for coming in to your life, but on your quest for true love, how do you recognize what it is? What kind of love are you genuinely feeling towards this person? Lover? Friend? Soulmate?  

My passion for loving is so intense I develop a bit of a word vomit when it comes to disclosing the “L” word. When I dated men, this was a quick way to weed out the ones incapable of handling my white girl crazy, but with women, my own comfort level has allowed others to break down their walls and go on adventures of the heart with me.

When I’m in love with someone, they’re the first person I think of in the morning, and the last one I think of before I fall asleep, and even in my dreams, they still never leave me. The excitement of such happenstance introductions sets off my over-analytical mind and I begin to rifle through every possible scenario of their impending significance.  

Once the initial intensity winds down, my mind becomes less-clouded and I'm able to better assess someone’s purpose in my life. But sometimes my emotions have landed me into situations where it wasn't until much later than I should have realized it takes more than love to sustain a relationship, or as Patti Smith once sang so honestly, “sometimes love just ain't enough.”  I've experienced three very different, and very real scenarios, where no matter how strongly I found myself loving someone, it could never be.

3.  You have nothing in common, except that you love each other - You've met someone. You shared an instant connection and decided to explore your infatuation further. It isn't until you've invested months, or even years in each other you've awoken to the fact, every time you say black, they say white. They’re not TRYING to be difficult. It’s not because they don’t love you. It’s just because, it’s who they are. From religion, to choice in music, to career aspirations, if your major deal-breakers aren't aligning, it’s best to appreciate the time you've shared and move on. While some differences should be celebrated, sacrificing your own passions to support your partners' is not necessary. You deserve to be with someone who encourages you to be the best YOU can be, not the you they’d like you to be.

2.  Mental or Physical Abuse - Love is amazing, but it should never come at the expense of your own well-being. Before dating women, I could more easily recognize abuse from a man, but for some reason I'm having a harder time with women. While I'm learning to draw the line between playful rough-housing and actual harm, I've decided to adapt a new rule of thumb. If something makes me uncomfortable, and I clearly communicate it to my partner, and they continue to engage in the aforementioned behavior, I'm done. No matter HOW much I think I love them. I've also noticed I'm more tolerant of such behaviors when I'm not loving myself as much as I should be. To quote The Perks of Being a Wallflower: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Remember you deserve the best, simply because you are the best. The best you.

1.  She’s married - This one may seem like a no-brainer, but sometimes things happen and before you know it, you’re caught up in a whirlwind romance that feels more perfect than anything you've experienced before. None of the perfect moments or feelings take away her prior commitment to her family, and your own commitment to yourself and your individual happiness. You told yourself you would never date a married person, but now you’re in deeper than a diver searching for remains of the Titanic, and your love story is even more beautifully tragic than Rose and Jack’s. Yet, you must walk away. For her benefit, for her family’s benefit, and most importantly for your own. Perhaps you’ll meet again, in a different lifetime, but this one is obviously not your shared happily ever after.

Loving someone is a splendid journey, and I would much rather fall in love a 1,000 times than spend my life being afraid of it. Don’t ignore all self-preservation. You control your own happiness, so work on finding a balance between giving love away equal to that which you receive. Lesbian love is the greatest love I've ever experienced, but I'm still learning and discovering new boundaries along the way. I have to remember to keep my intuition clear to the signs that may show I need to let go of the less than perfect idea of love I'm holding on to, to find the love truly meant for me.

Lesbian Advice #7: Can I Be In Love With An Older Woman?

Disclaimer: This advice column is completely confidential - all questions are anonymous and the author will never reveal an inquirer's identity. All Things Lesbian and its contributors are not responsible for the personal interpretation of any advice given. Advice written here is the opinion and suggestion of the author, and the decision on whether to take said advice is completely down to the individual reader. We're not professionals - we're simply here trying to make things a little easier for you. Enjoy!

Question 1: Can I love a woman 30 years my senior?

Q: Hi, I found your blog and I really want a second opinion from you.

Back in 2006, I started playing soccer. Ever since I saw my soccer coach for the first time I have not been able to get her out of my head! 7 years later and still she's my "platonic" love, but I think it's more than that because I have feelings for her. It's out of this world how my world turns round whenever I'm near her.

She's not my coach anymore, she's my team mate, and oh! Did I mention she was 50 years old? I'm 19! And I'm head over heels for her. She drives me insane. I would just like to know if you think it's just puppy love or if I could honestly have feelings for her.

- L

A: There are a lot of factors here. Perhaps you do have feelings for this woman. We've all had a crush on a teacher. We've all had a crush on Jennifer Beals and she's 49!

I'm not one to say that age really matters though. I think you can fall in love with someone no matter their age... but I don't think that's the problem here. What would worry me if I were in this situation would be whether or not I should act on my feelings.

Teachers and coaches are all different about where they stand on dating students and dating former students. As far as I'm aware, there is nothing specifically illegal about dating a former teacher. However, personal morals and ethics differ greatly from person to person.

I would say that if you really think you like this woman, you should try hitting on her. But the best thing to do if she rejects you is not take it personally. You have to respect that this woman may feel that this would violate her personal code of ethics. Do not attempt to persuade and coerce. And if rejection is what you're hit with, deal with it appropriately. Good luck!


Question 2: How can I get through to my ex?

Q: Where to start? I moved to ex's last city in 1998. We continued to have a relationship for about 10 years. But then things got real bad for me. I shut everyone out including my ex. I went away, got my life together, and came back to try and get her back.

I started writing her and she received my mail for about 7 months. She would not talk to me. Recently I saw her and she stared until I made eye contact. Then she rolled her eyes and even more recently closed the PO Box I was using to write to her. She's had that PO Box since 1997.

Did I mention that I used to be a jerk? But I apologized and I want to show her that I'm a different person. Why not just write or call to say stop? Why the extreme? My therapist thinks it's because she's still in love with me but doesn't know what to do about it. What do you think?

- Confused!

A: Okay, I gotta be real blunt here. Just cut it out and move on.

If this woman wanted to speak to you, she would. There are probably underlying reasons of why she doesn't reply. Maybe all she can remember is one particular bad incident that you've completely forgotten about. Maybe she vowed to cut you out of her life when you left all those years ago. Whatever it is, it's time to move on.

Rather than focusing on making her see the new you, teach someone else about what a great person you are now. Hopefully your ex will have accepted your apology and you can move on to new things. It's never healthy to fight for something you probably won't realistically get (I speak from personal experience!) I know that sounds quite brutal, but it's 100% true from what I have seen myself.

Remember that there are always bigger and brighter things just around the corner! Good luck!

***

We love answering your questions here at All Things Lesbian!

To get your question in for the January 2014 issue of All Things Lesbian's advice column, email allthingsles@gmail.com in which your email will remain completely anonymous!

(If your problem was not answered in this issue, it will be carried over to an upcoming month. Some questions may not be published at all, but ATL tries our best to reply to each and every email, so send in your questions now! What have you got to lose?)

Editorial: The Best Way to Get Over Someone is to Get Under Someone Else?

by Bo Sellers

Being a lesbo is intense. I've experienced more drama in the last six months than I can remember pre-lesbi life. Partly due to my attempts to be accepted by my family and friends, but mostly due to the fact women are effing dramatic.  

My ex and I have parted ways over a dozen times with each time feeling like the ultimate ending. We've made a habit of saying goodbye with as much heartache as I experienced watching Rose release Jack at the end of “Titanic.” Although I don’t remember Rose crying in a Starbucks, Chipotle or Olive Garden.

(Image Source: The Daily Mail Online)

There’s something in the lesbian water in Los Angeles as all of my closest gay girlfriends are also experiencing traumatic break-ups. I certainly hope not all lesbian relationships end as devastatingly, but I can’t help but wonder if it is the intense love we feel for each other, or if it’s just heightened because we’re women. I suppose I’ll only know after venturing further down lover’s lane with a new woman.

A natural born nurturer, I worry if she’s being taken care of and happy with her life sans my presence. We've agreed to cut all contact so we can move forward down the paths it seems destiny has laid for us. Even writing this I have the same pain of nausea that struck me while waving goodbye, or maybe it’s undercooked chicken? Yes. Chicken. My heart’s not broken, I ate bad chicken. Let’s go with that.

Timing is everything. Someday it will be our time. Until then I've made myself vague profiles on every dating website imaginable and forced myself to dance my sorrows away at various West Hollywood nightclubs.  I need to burn off the calories from the bad chicken...

I must admit, I have fear attached to engulfing myself in the lesbian world. Just when I felt I’d perfected the skills necessary to seduce a man, I realized I have absolutely no attraction to them. I'm starting from square one and have similar insecurities to when I went on my first date with a guy who drove a Camero and and had his friends IM me, afterwards, asking why I didn't give him head. High-school.

My vulnerability is increased from horror stories of failed lesbian love aided by hormones. Yet fear is no excuse to explore anything in life. I currently give myself pep-talks before I go out, to reassure myself that it could be much worse. I could be back on a lake-dock, senior year of high-school, with my co-worker whipping out his dick asking me if I wanted to “help him out.” I can’t imagine a woman making such a gesture, but only time will tell.  

Time to buckle up for the wild roller-coaster of dating. If I'm secure enough with myself to cry in an Olive Garden, I can certainly flaunt my tight-ass in dick-stabbers at a nightclub. YOLO.

Lesbians on YouTube: What Do Lesbians Think About THREESOMES?

Remember a couple of weeks back when we told you about lesbian YouTuber, Arielle Scarcella? (Click HERE if you don't!)

Well, being as professional as usual, Arielle has come up with yet another awesome topic for you to think about/giggle at: What Do Lesbians Think About Threesomes?

Check it out right here!

And not to worry, that's just one side of the story.

Ever wondered what gay men think about threesomes? Check out how their stories compare by watching the counterpart to Arielle's video right here, hosted by the lovely Matthew Lush, a.k.a. Gay God.

What do you think about threesomes? Would you ever venture there?

Let us know in the comments!

Editorial: Choose Love

by Bo Sellers

Realizing I was a lesbian a short six months ago, I’m still dealing with the repercussions of  coming out. Technically, I was never closeted because as soon as I realized I was gay, I felt a weight off my shoulders and was overwhelmed with joy, so I began telling my closest friends and family members. About two months ago I came out publicly on Instagram. Granted it’s not the most traditional approach to updating people of your sexuality, but judging from the various conversations I've had with friends and family over the last few months, there really is no right way or right time...

I’ve always done things the best way I know how, which is through humor. I’ve laughed with a lot of people about my revelation, making jokes to enable a certain level of comfort for everyone privy to my newfound sense of self. But the truth is, it’s not a joke and I refuse to laugh at it any longer.

I’m gay.

When I first came out, I told people I was “bi but preferred women.” I’ve realized now it was a safety-net I allowed myself. Still coming to terms with my own preferences, I wasn’t entirely sure what I was feeling, but since most people need a label to understand something, I gave them one.

It’s been extremely difficult to handle everyone’s reactions. I’m crying about it much more than I ever imagined, but coming from super conservative southern foots, with multiple pastors in my family, it’s definitely going to be an uphill battle. It hurts to hear my love referred to as a “sin” or a “phase.” I’m also learning that people are discussing it behind my back, which is interesting as no one will bring it up in conversation with me unless I do. I never thought I would hear my own sister say “I don’t know if I’d ever come to your wedding. I can’t condone it” has been one of the biggest smacks in the face.

This wasn’t the topic I planned on discussing for my first article on “All Things Lesbian,” but it’s important to me, and if it helps even one other person feel less alone with their own struggle, than I’ve accomplished my goal.

I can’t broach this topic without also mentioning the extreme support I’m receiving from old and new friends I never expected to be there for me. I’m choosing to focus on the positive people in my life and remind myself how blessed I am for them.

Although we may feel like it at times, we aren't alone in this world. We are all highly connected and need to continue to love and support one another.  Fear and hate are no matches for love. By loving everyone, even in my darkest moments, I hope to prove life is worth living and all what we choose it to be.  

Choose happiness. Choose love.

Who EXACTLY Is Writing This Blog, Anyway?

That's right, we've finally updated our writers page.

So just who are we?

This is me, Lauren, founder, editor and writer of All Things Lesbian: (@laurenwont)

Our first "guestbian" is Mickie, who looks like this (yes, she is dressed as a Mexican):

And our newest addition is the gorgeous, bright and bubbly comedienne of the bunch, Bo: (@BoSellers)

Want to know what we do in our spare time? Want to see if we share any mutual favourite TV shows? Click HERE and check out our bios!

Meanwhile, if you have any awesome ideas that you want us to write about or you want us to publicize your new web series, review a book for you, or if you have any other queries, email us at allthingsles@gmail.com!

Lesbian Advice #5: How Do I Come Out To My Parents?

Disclaimer: This advice column is completely confidential - all questions are anonymous and the author will never reveal an inquirer's identity. All Things Lesbian and its contributors are not responsible for the personal interpretation of any advice given. Advice written here is the opinion and suggestion of the author, and the decision on whether to take said advice is completely down to the individual reader. We're not professionals - we're simply here trying to make things a little easier for you. Enjoy!

Question 1: Coming Out.

Q: I'm only 14 years old, but I'm struggling with coming out to my parents. Any advice on how to do this?

- Anonymous

A: Many of us (the LGBTQ crowd, that is), have had experience with this. The honest truth is, there's no correct answer. But don't let that scare you!

Coming out to your parents can be one of the most important things you'll ever have to do. Others live their entire lives without telling anyone except their close friends. One thing is obvious: most people regard their parents' opinion as valuable, hence why people see coming out to them as something they need to do right.

Sometimes, coming out to your parents can be easy.

For example, a relative of mine was once wearing a pin which read "Friend of Dorothy". (Subtle, right?) Anyway, once his Father saw the accessory, this is how the conversation went:

Father: Does that mean you're gay?
Relative: Yes, can I go in the bath now?

That was genuinely the entire conversation. I kid you not, some parents will take it as lightly as that. Others, however, will react differently. My experience with coming out to my parents, for instance, was not so plain sailing. But at the end of the day, your parents will still love you.

No matter what their religious beliefs, political background, personal upbringing, etc., your parents will love you even if your sexuality is hard for them to understand. And anyway, at the end of the day, it's your own happiness that really matters.

I'd suggest dropping subtle hints if you're not entirely comfortable with just telling them flat out. Replace that Channing Tatum poster on your bedroom wall with a picture of your favourite lady. If you're feeling bold, stick a pride flag up there. Ask them in conversation what they think about the debate on gay marriage.

My one main piece of advice would be to remember this: it gets better. It's a cliché  but it's so true. Even if they take it badly, one day you will be free to leave the restraints of your home and socialize with other like-minded people. Don't worry, you're not stuck there forever.

And who knows? Maybe your parents have already taken the hint!

Question 2: Why Does She Make Me Feel Invisible?

Q: I have been with my girlfriend for three years. We seem to fight a lot. We are going to try living apart and dating. But I'm wondering a couple of things... When we meet her friends, people she knows, or anyone we talk to, she: 1) Doesn't introduce me. And 2) Will keep standing between me and the people she talks to. It makes me feel really sad and invisible. Why does she do that?

 - C

A: This one hits home pretty hard for me too, actually.

I was once in a relationship with a girl who tried to shield me away from the people she spoke to. However, it turned out in this instance that she was just over-protective. Maybe your girlfriend is the same. Some people can feel threatened and believe that people will find you more interesting or attractive when compared to them.

However, there are a multitude of reasons that could be causing her to keep you at a distance. 

The only way to get these questions answered is to ask her directly. I understand that this may be hard for you, but if you let her know that it upsets you, maybe she'll back off a little. This sounds like something you can solve easily if you only let her know about how you feel.

Talking things out is really underrated. If only someone had told George Bush Jr. that... But I digress.

Good luck!

***

We love answering your questions here at All Things Lesbian!

To get your question in for the October issue of All Things Lesbian's advice column, email allthingsles@gmail.com in which your email will remain completely anonymous!

(If your problem was not answered in this issue, it will be carried over to an upcoming month. Some questions may not be published at all, but ATL tries our best to reply to each and every email, so send in your questions now! What have you got to lose?)

Lesbian Advice #3: Where's the Butch of My Dreams?

Wow, it feels longer than a month since we last answered your questions!

Let's dive right in and do this.

Disclaimer: This advice column is completely confidential - all questions are anonymous and the author will never reveal an inquirer's identity. All Things Lesbian and its contributors are not responsible for the personal interpretation of any advice given. Advice written here is the opinion and suggestion of the author, and the decision on whether to take said advice is completely down to the individual reader. We're not professionals - we're simply here trying to make things a little easier for you. Enjoy!

Question 1: How To Get Over This Guilt...

Q: Being confused about my sexuality, I did what was expected of me and dated boys. As part of that, I lost my virginity to one and had a regular heterosexual relationship with him for about 9 months. It was never easy for me and ultimately helped me figure myself out.

But now I cannot get this out of my head and I feel awful and trashy because of it. I have nightmares about it, like I was being raped. A lot of guilt and shame. Like I cheated on myself. Any advice on how to get past this?

Thank You,

E

A: Thank you for your question - it's a very important one that I'm sure a few more people out there need he answer to!

Firstly, we should take note of the word 'confused'. If you were confused at the time, clearly you'd have wanted to experiment and find out what you like. And there is 100% nothing wrong with doing that. Some people just need that extra reassurance and have to make sure they're positive when making such a big life discovery.

You should definitely not feel guilty or shameful about what you did in your past. It sounds like the heterosexual relationship you decided to get involved in was a natural progression in your life. In other words, don't put yourself down and have no regrets. At least now you're sure and that's what matters. 

Good luck!

Question 2: Want butch, stuck with femme.

Q: I've finally admitted to myself that I'm a lesbian yay me! I also have my first legit girlfriend who I love more than anything...  but the thing is as I become more aware of myself I become more aware of my preference. She is everything I want in a woman but she's not that butch. I mean yes I'm using labels. I'm a femme, I like butch women and it's not just about the look, it's everything that comes with it. The walk, the talk, the assurance. There are things she doesn't have that I need.

She's very passive; that's not good for me because I have a dominant personality. I feel like I have to wear the pants and that puts me off. Anyway, I've been thinking about going on a break and exploring but we’re planning to move in together sooner or later. I think about this a lot but i'm very wishy washy: sometimes she's my rock and sometimes I don't know what to do.

Anyway I'm plus sized and I don't have the prettiest face in the world. My body and image isn't the way I want it and to be honest I don't think the type of woman that I'm seeking will want someone like me. I mean let’s face it, attractive people are attracted to other attractive people. That's another reason I feel kind of stuck. My goal is to look the way I want by my 21st birthday and see where things take me then.

What should I do? I love her, I don't want to let her go, I don't want to hurt her... but I want to see what's out there. Any advice for me?*

A: Wow what is a complicated life you have!

It sounds to me like you're extremely fixated on the external. Maybe you should look to the internal. Do you like who your girlfriend is as a person? Do you like her personality? Or would you rather just be friends? Because to me, it sounds like the latter.

One thing I always advice against is 'going on a break'. To me (remember: don't take my words as gospel!) going on a break is just a transition between being together and breaking up. Breaks usually ultimately end with the end of a relationship. 

If you are really unhappy with this relationship, there's nothing to do but break it off. And dear GOD, don't move in with her. That's where things could really get messy. It's understandable that you wouldn't want to hurt someone you care for so much, but in this instance, it seems like you need to let her down easily.

In terms of your own body type, don't put yourself down! Women come in all shapes and sized, and self-hatred is not going to get you anywhere. Do what makes you happy. If that's going on a diet and hitting a gym, then go for it! It can be a great confidence boost. If being happy means eating cakes and watching television, that's fine too!

At the end of the day, everyone's just looking to be loved. You never know, the woman of your dreams might pop up when you least expect it...

*This question has been edited due to length and structure.

***

We love answering your questions here at All Things Lesbian!

To get your question in for the April issue of All Things Lesbian's advice column, email allthingsles@gmail.com in which your email will remain completely anonymous!

(If your problem was not answered in this issue, it will be carried over to an upcoming month. Some questions may not be published at all, but ATL tries our best to reply to each and every email, so send in your questions now!)

Lesbian Advice #2: Am I Transgender?

The month is February, which means it's time for a new Lesbian Advice!

Let's do this.

Disclaimer: This advice column is completely confidential - all questions are anonymous and the author will never reveal an inquirer's identity. All Things Lesbian and its contributors are not responsible for the personal interpretation of any advice given. Advice written here is the opinion and suggestion of the author, and the decision on whether to take said advice is completely down to the individual reader. We're not professionals - we're simply here trying to make things a little easier for you. Enjoy!

Question 1: A Trio of Troubles.

Q: I have 3 questions that I need some advice on. Help? - JE

1) How do you know that you are a lesbian?

A: Have you ever sat around with your girlfriends while they talk about guys and not felt comfortable? Maybe you stared at that cute girl's butt for too long in the grocery store. When you think about sex, do you picture yourself with a man or a woman?

Thinking about these questions may be one step closer to you figuring it out. Discovering your sexuality can be different for everyone, but if you find yourself being attracted to girls it's possibly time that you explore that. You might adventure out there and try to date/have sex with/kiss a woman and absolutely hate it. And that's totally fine! Remember there is a huge spectrum of sexual orientations out there. Figuring out what you like best is part of the fun! And in the end if you realize you're not gay, there's nothing wrong with that either. Explore your surroundings.

2) How do you know the straight lady you are in love with can accept you?

A: The problem with this one is, you can't be sure. Maybe subtly dropping the idea of homosexuality into conversation would be beneficial here; see if she's okay with gay people, whether she supports same-sex marriage, heck, even ask if she thinks Brittana are a cute couple. Get creative, and if in the end she doesn't accept you, she's simply not worth your time.

3) Is it possible for an Asian to be with a Caucasian?

A: I find it incredibly sad that some people still need to ask these sorts of questions. Love is not based on race, it's based on emotions. Remember that it is okay for anyone of any race, gender or sexual orientation to be with anyone they like. Personal traits should not matter.

Question 2: Am I A Man Trapped Inside a Woman's Body?

Q: How can I tell if I am not just a man trapped inside a woman's body vs a lesbian? I am attracted to women, and have dated a few of them, but part of me also acts a bit masculine and I love the feeling when wielding a dildo and I make love to my partner. It actually feels a bit more natural than without it. - A

A: I understand your dilemma here. Personally, I love the feeling of fucking a girl while wearing a strap-on, but I know deep inside that I am female. Although your gender should not be anyone else's business, it can be taunting when faced with such questions as these.

It sounds to me like you could do with some soul-searching. Do you feel like a woman? Or do you feel more comfortable as a man? It's also important to remember that you don't need to fit into society's gender binary system. Maybe you feel both male and female, and there's totally nothing wrong with that. 

There is a great information booklet you can read for free online from the Vancouver Coastal Health service. Click HERE and you may be a little closer to understanding who you feel you truly are. (And whoever that person turns out to be, remember that person is awesome!)

Question 3: I Thought I Was Straight!

Q: I was at a Valentine's Day party this week and I started to chat up a nice woman. By the end of the night, she had charmed her way back to my bedroom. We got there - a little tipsy! - and I woke up in the morning thinking the night before had been a dream. When I rolled over, I saw her lying naked in my bed and it all came flooding back to me. 

I had always thought I was straight and I never do one-night stands. I feel like my world has been turned upside-down; I thought I had to be in a committed to relationship to have sex with someone. I feel a little dirty and that I have let myself down a little, but I also feel some emotion or connection I've never experienced before. It's weird and scary, but I kind of like it. I thought because she'd given me a real orgasm (something I'd never felt before) it could be clouding my judgment. Any advice on this would be great!* - EB

A: I definitely understand why this would be a scary time for you. When you realize maybe you weren't who you thought you were, an identity crisis is completely normal.

There are two sides to this. Maybe you are straight. Maybe this was a one-time thing and the booze got a little too much for your self-control. However, maybe you do like women. Maybe you're bisexual, maybe you're gay. Exploring yourself and experimenting may be your answer here. Maybe try kissing a girl or chatting to a girl when you're sober, and see where it takes you and how you feel about it.

Also, you should really not think of yourself as "dirty" because you had a one night stand. Those kinds of thoughts are all related to slut shaming and oppressing women's sexual desires. If you want to have sex, go have sex! Of course you should always be safe about it, but if you want it, there is no one that can tell you you shouldn't be doing it. Explore your sexual fluidity while you explore what you like in the bedroom. And if you want to go back to only having sex in committed relationships, that's completely fine too! Just do what you feel is best for you. Hope that helps!

*This question has been edited due to length and structure.

***

We love answering your questions here at All Things Lesbian!

To get your question in for the March issue of All Things Lesbian's advice column, email allthingsles@gmail.com in which your email will remain completely anonymous!

(If your problem was not answered in this issue, it will be carried over to an upcoming month. Some questions may not be published at all, but ATL tries our best to reply to each and every email, so send in your questions now!)

E! Online's Top TV Couple Final: Doccubus vs. Brittana!

Okay, get how awesome this is: two same-sex female relationships in the top TV couples final!

SAY WHAT?!

We already made our bid on why you should vote for Doccubus (click HERE to read our reasons!)

So just a head's up, you only have until Wednesday to vote!

Click HERE to register your vote for Doccubus! for your favourite couple!

Doccubus & Brittana in TV's Top Couples Poll!

You'll never guess what...

There are THREE gay couples in the final four of E! Online's Top TV Couples poll.

The only heterosexual 'couple' are Tony and Ziva of NCIS, which I'm also happy about because I'm a huge NCIS fan.

Vote for Doccubus (Lost Girl) and Brittana (Glee) by clicking HERE! There are only a couple more days to vote, so hurry!

But who should you vote for if both Doccubus and Brittana make it to the final couple? 

I'm going to make my plea for Doccubus right now.

1) You should vote for Doccubus because they are the most real couple on television right now. Brittana aren't actually a couple (the stupid writers hooked Brittany up with Sam. Not cool.) but Doccubus repeatedly portray a healthy same-sex relationship on TV week after week.

2) Damn Glee win every poll... Ever! Let's face it: Glee lost its pizzazz after the second season. Some may even argue during the season season. But Lost Girl gets better every week. It's sexy, fun, and mature all at the same time. Oh also, Finchel isn't a thing that happens in Lost Girl.

3) A vote for Doccubus means a vote for more Lost Girl visibility! Who doesn't know what Glee is, right? Whether you love it or hate it, you've heard of Glee. The thing is, not so many people have heard of the little Canadian show that could. So if Doccubus won, you'd be showing your support and spreading awareness of the show!

4) Brittana are cute and all, but Doccubus... I think this emoticon explains it sufficiently: *_* They are damn smokin' hot, and if you don't watch Lost Girl, you'll feel stupid for not doing so after watching the video below...

So, please. I am begging you. Just because you knew Brittana first does not mean they're worthy of this crown.

Doccubus are 100% the best couple on television I've seen for a long time, gay or straight. GO VOTE! (There will be a reminder of the final poll once we find out who the finalists are... Hold on tight!)