VIDEO: Who's at DINAH SHORE 2014?!

by Lauren W

So you'll probably know that the Dinah Shore Weekend kicked off this week, but who is there?

Our very own Bo Sellers (writer here at All Things Lesbian) is there, and she's letting the whole of Dinah - and the Twitterverse - know about it!

(Source: Bo Sellers on Instagram)

Yup, that's Bo on the red carpet!

She also appears to have managed to get a selfie with Abisha Uhl, of the awesome lesbian band, Sick of Sarah.

(Source: Bo Sellers on Instagram)

The Dinah Shore 2014 gang have also sent us this video to share with you. Keep your eyes peeled for the celesbians!

EDITORIAL: Letting Go: 3 Scenarios Where Love Just Ain’t Enough

by Bo Sellers

Sometimes I meet people who instantly speak to my soul.  It’s this exact scenario that led me to discover I actually prefer women. I love being in love and I love loving. Everyone you meet has a unique purpose for coming in to your life, but on your quest for true love, how do you recognize what it is? What kind of love are you genuinely feeling towards this person? Lover? Friend? Soulmate?  

My passion for loving is so intense I develop a bit of a word vomit when it comes to disclosing the “L” word. When I dated men, this was a quick way to weed out the ones incapable of handling my white girl crazy, but with women, my own comfort level has allowed others to break down their walls and go on adventures of the heart with me.

When I’m in love with someone, they’re the first person I think of in the morning, and the last one I think of before I fall asleep, and even in my dreams, they still never leave me. The excitement of such happenstance introductions sets off my over-analytical mind and I begin to rifle through every possible scenario of their impending significance.  

Once the initial intensity winds down, my mind becomes less-clouded and I'm able to better assess someone’s purpose in my life. But sometimes my emotions have landed me into situations where it wasn't until much later than I should have realized it takes more than love to sustain a relationship, or as Patti Smith once sang so honestly, “sometimes love just ain't enough.”  I've experienced three very different, and very real scenarios, where no matter how strongly I found myself loving someone, it could never be.

3.  You have nothing in common, except that you love each other - You've met someone. You shared an instant connection and decided to explore your infatuation further. It isn't until you've invested months, or even years in each other you've awoken to the fact, every time you say black, they say white. They’re not TRYING to be difficult. It’s not because they don’t love you. It’s just because, it’s who they are. From religion, to choice in music, to career aspirations, if your major deal-breakers aren't aligning, it’s best to appreciate the time you've shared and move on. While some differences should be celebrated, sacrificing your own passions to support your partners' is not necessary. You deserve to be with someone who encourages you to be the best YOU can be, not the you they’d like you to be.

2.  Mental or Physical Abuse - Love is amazing, but it should never come at the expense of your own well-being. Before dating women, I could more easily recognize abuse from a man, but for some reason I'm having a harder time with women. While I'm learning to draw the line between playful rough-housing and actual harm, I've decided to adapt a new rule of thumb. If something makes me uncomfortable, and I clearly communicate it to my partner, and they continue to engage in the aforementioned behavior, I'm done. No matter HOW much I think I love them. I've also noticed I'm more tolerant of such behaviors when I'm not loving myself as much as I should be. To quote The Perks of Being a Wallflower: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Remember you deserve the best, simply because you are the best. The best you.

1.  She’s married - This one may seem like a no-brainer, but sometimes things happen and before you know it, you’re caught up in a whirlwind romance that feels more perfect than anything you've experienced before. None of the perfect moments or feelings take away her prior commitment to her family, and your own commitment to yourself and your individual happiness. You told yourself you would never date a married person, but now you’re in deeper than a diver searching for remains of the Titanic, and your love story is even more beautifully tragic than Rose and Jack’s. Yet, you must walk away. For her benefit, for her family’s benefit, and most importantly for your own. Perhaps you’ll meet again, in a different lifetime, but this one is obviously not your shared happily ever after.

Loving someone is a splendid journey, and I would much rather fall in love a 1,000 times than spend my life being afraid of it. Don’t ignore all self-preservation. You control your own happiness, so work on finding a balance between giving love away equal to that which you receive. Lesbian love is the greatest love I've ever experienced, but I'm still learning and discovering new boundaries along the way. I have to remember to keep my intuition clear to the signs that may show I need to let go of the less than perfect idea of love I'm holding on to, to find the love truly meant for me.

Editorial: “Everyone Loves A Lesbian”

by Bo Sellers

While attending the BCS National Championship game with my uncle and his fraternity brothers, I hoped we’d discuss the impending win of our shared alma mater, Florida State, while simultaneously engaging in drunken debauchery.  However, the boys club was a little more interested in trying to “understand” my sexuality.  I spent the entire pre-game answering a lot of pretty stereotypical questions about being a lesbian.

“What constitutes ‘sex’?”  “Who’s the ‘man’ of the relationship?” “Don’t you miss c*ck?” etc.  However, my fave question was a little deeper.  “Why did you “choose” to be gay?  No one else in the family is.”  I immediately launched into a programmed comedic-monologue of sorts I’ve performed many times over the last eight months.  “As far as YOU know.  No one else in the family tells dick-jokes for a living either.  It’s pretty safe to say I’m the black-sheep of the fam.  I won’t miss c*ck because my ex taught me you don’t NEED one, and if more women find this out men are going to be in big trouble.  I didn't “choose” to be gay, I was born this way because I’m an attention whore and everyone loves a lesbian, especially baby Jesus.”

While explaining to these Southern gentlemen multiple benefits of being a lesbian, it occurred to me they were less interested in logistics and more interested in developing material for their spank banks.  Amidst our discussion, I was able to develop a few pretty sound arguments for God’s condonation of all things lesbi and his blessing for as much sex as possible.

5.  Synced Periods - If God wanted to hinder lesbian relationships, he probably wouldn’t have designed women to have concurring periods with the lady friends they spend the most time with.  Allowing for just as much sex, if not more, than straight relationships, obvi God appreciates the love between lesbis.  Deductively, it could also be argued that God loves gay boys even a little more because they’re relationships are entirely period-free.

4.  Sharing is Caring -  Chicks can share a restroom stall without raising suspicion to sexual foreplay, which is totes a benefit for lesbi relationships.  Once again, allowing for optimal sexy time since you can literally eff whenever and wherever there’s a bathroom.  Even if you aren't down for bathroom sex, when you go home with a lady you can borrow some clothes in the AM to make your journey home without looking like a sloppy-shacking-whore on your walk of shame.  

Which segues nicely to my next argument…

3.  We can eff from any angle - Whether you like being bent over couches, effed against walls, or playing with each other’s poonahnahs parked in front of a 7-11, where there’s a will, there are a gazillion ways to get your lady friend off from any position without having to worry if your partner’s “dick” is gonna slip out from an awkward position.  

2.  The tongue is one of the strongest muscles in the human body - I’ve drank way too much coffee today to focus on researching the validity of this statement, but my tongue absolutely has more stamina than any other muscle I’ve ever used.  If vaginas were a canvas, the tongue would be the sturdy brush that paints the most brilliant lines, while putting a “p” in a “v” more closely resembles hammering a giant bolt into a birthday cake when it fits better with a steel bridge.  Which would totes shred the cake and require more clean-up.  That’s why rainbows are so effing fab.  Obvi it’s God’s artistry from licking the earth’s vagina.

1.  Two Moms - Anyone who’s ever had a, even half decent, mother wouldn’t object to having two.  Moms are the best.  Not to knock dad’s, but I was raised by a single mom and it sure would’ve been nice to have a spare nearby after she died.  Women are naturally more compassionate.  Lesbian relationships not only provide super loving families, but can take turns stretching out their bodies to shoot babies from their poonahnahs.

***

If baby Jesus didn’t love lesbians, he sure wouldn’t make being one so effing convenient.  He’d probably make lesbianism more like trying to find parking in Los Angeles, impossible and resulting in a ticket that can only be cleared by delivering your first born in a gold-plated onesie.  Next time people express interest in my sexuality, I’ll just direct them to this article with a flip of my hair and a snarky “kthanksBYYYYYYYE, I’ve got p*ssy to lick.”

Editorial: Bye-Bye Bad Habits

by Bo Sellers

This past September I was featured on a weight-loss show called “My Big Fat Revenge.” Now,50 pounds lighter, in body and mind, I've lost the weight and found myself. When my soul awoke to my sexuality, it was as if my mind, also, awoke for the first time. Everything I encounter comes with a fresh curiosity, that only previously existed within societal constraints keeping my imagination at bay. My new sense of self has gifted me more patience, yet I'm still searching for balance in understanding things from the outside looking in so I'm working on cutting the fat in other areas of my life as well.

1.  Bye-bye judging books by their covers. - Before I realized I was gay, I would quickly jump to conclusions about people, taking them merely at face-value. I logically knew people were more than what I saw on the surface, but there was a barrier within me sending my mind directly to judgement. With my new open-mind, I'm able to take time to truly appreciate everyone’s different forms of expression. You really can find the good in ANYone if you look hard enough, some you may have to look harder than others, but it’s there. It’s always there. If I find myself struggling to appreciate anyone's personality, I imagine them naked and crying over a pile of raw beef, if nothing else I'm greeted with a smile from proposed nudity.  

2.  Bye-bye double-standards. - I need to remember just because I know I'm gay now doesn't mean the whole world does. I find myself frustrated when men hit on me to the point I've considered a style makeover. But I love my long hair and 6 inch heels too much to be anything but a lipstick lezBO. But seriously, how are the men supposed to know I prefer poohnahnah? And shouldn't I be flattered either way? I used to look at every man I was attracted to and assume he was straight, because that’s what I wanted him to be. I shouldn't chastise a man for doing the exact thing I used to, and still sometimes do. Even now, I look at every woman I'm attracted to and assume she’s gay because that’s what I want her to be. Although, the women I'm attracted to do tend to have more masculine qualities. It takes a real woman to be man enough for me.

3.  Bye-bye fear. - By the age of 14 I found myself at a significant crossroads. I had sworn off salad from a near-death choking accident as a toddler. Until one day, salad was the only food available and I was forced to face my fear or go hungry. Any inner-fat-girl can tell you, the latter was not an option. I'm glad I had to face my salad fear because otherwise I wouldn't have discovered a whole new world of leafy flavor I’d been missing out on. Women are my favorite entrée and I refuse to be intimidated by them any more. I am going to be fearless in love. I’ll probably end up shot through the heart a time or two, but no one can say I didn't try. Let the cheesy 80's courting begin.

I know my new skills won’t be mastered overnight, but I also know a life free of judgement, double-standards and fear can lead to nothing but happiness and pleasure. Even if it takes my entire lifetime to perfect one of them, it’s a journey worth taking. Appreciating everyone I meet allows me to better appreciate myself, and self-appreciation is key to loving and being loved. 

Editorial: The Best Way to Get Over Someone is to Get Under Someone Else?

by Bo Sellers

Being a lesbo is intense. I've experienced more drama in the last six months than I can remember pre-lesbi life. Partly due to my attempts to be accepted by my family and friends, but mostly due to the fact women are effing dramatic.  

My ex and I have parted ways over a dozen times with each time feeling like the ultimate ending. We've made a habit of saying goodbye with as much heartache as I experienced watching Rose release Jack at the end of “Titanic.” Although I don’t remember Rose crying in a Starbucks, Chipotle or Olive Garden.

(Image Source: The Daily Mail Online)

There’s something in the lesbian water in Los Angeles as all of my closest gay girlfriends are also experiencing traumatic break-ups. I certainly hope not all lesbian relationships end as devastatingly, but I can’t help but wonder if it is the intense love we feel for each other, or if it’s just heightened because we’re women. I suppose I’ll only know after venturing further down lover’s lane with a new woman.

A natural born nurturer, I worry if she’s being taken care of and happy with her life sans my presence. We've agreed to cut all contact so we can move forward down the paths it seems destiny has laid for us. Even writing this I have the same pain of nausea that struck me while waving goodbye, or maybe it’s undercooked chicken? Yes. Chicken. My heart’s not broken, I ate bad chicken. Let’s go with that.

Timing is everything. Someday it will be our time. Until then I've made myself vague profiles on every dating website imaginable and forced myself to dance my sorrows away at various West Hollywood nightclubs.  I need to burn off the calories from the bad chicken...

I must admit, I have fear attached to engulfing myself in the lesbian world. Just when I felt I’d perfected the skills necessary to seduce a man, I realized I have absolutely no attraction to them. I'm starting from square one and have similar insecurities to when I went on my first date with a guy who drove a Camero and and had his friends IM me, afterwards, asking why I didn't give him head. High-school.

My vulnerability is increased from horror stories of failed lesbian love aided by hormones. Yet fear is no excuse to explore anything in life. I currently give myself pep-talks before I go out, to reassure myself that it could be much worse. I could be back on a lake-dock, senior year of high-school, with my co-worker whipping out his dick asking me if I wanted to “help him out.” I can’t imagine a woman making such a gesture, but only time will tell.  

Time to buckle up for the wild roller-coaster of dating. If I'm secure enough with myself to cry in an Olive Garden, I can certainly flaunt my tight-ass in dick-stabbers at a nightclub. YOLO.