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Monday 11 May 2009

Lesbian Clichés (Part 1)

Since I know a couple of newbies to the 'lesbian fold' (and no, I don't mean Clementine Ford) I thought I'd blog a couple of clichés signature to lesbians, just to get their balls rolling. Balls? Hypthetically, of course.

Cliché numero uno: Wrist Cuffs.

That's right girls, wrist cuffs aren't just for guys, they're a great giveaway when spotting hot girls out there. Usually leather, the wrist cuff is worn casually with jeans and a vest, à la Jill Bennett. (Check out her left wrist!)

Clearly, they look sexy, especially when you look like Jill...

Cliché numero dos: Chapstick.

No, not because Katy Perry says her 'conquests' wear it. Long before she ever even thought about kissing a girl, we were kissing girls wearing this baby:

There are loads of different brands and it comes in more flavours than Slurpee, which is why we love it! It's small enough to fit in your pocket while you're chatting up the new girl in the coffee shop and it's quick and easy to apply. (Oh, one thing KP did get right: it tastes SO good!)

Cliché numero tres: Cats.

Yeah, so lots of people like cats, gay or straight, but lesbians seem to have some strange obsession with them. 

Aww look at it's little eyes! *ahem* That's right, I am no exception to this rule: cats are cute. You'd be hard pushed to find a lesbian with a dog - or any other animal for that matter. Mostly, I'd say it's because they require less attention than dogs and smell much worse. Plus, it's much more comfortable to be sat on by a cat than a dog.

Anyway, Jill Bennett has 2, Willow and Tara had one and I'm pretty sure if I broke into Ellen & Portia's house in the middle of the night, I'd be attacked by one of their super-furry friends.

Cliché numero cuatro: Teva's.

So not every lesbian has a pair, but Teva's are signature to lesbian feet. Just look at them!:

So you wouldn't find them on a femme, that's for sure, but older, butcher lesbians everywhere are seen wearing these.

Cliché numero cinco: Merging the names of a couple to form one collaborative name.

"Huh?" is probably your first reaction. But you'll understand what I mean in a uno momentum. (Excuse the Spanish, I just have Sara Ramirez in my head... If you know what I mean... ;])

This refers to taking the names of 2 lesbians in a relationship and combining their names. For example, take The L Word golden couple Bette & Tina.

Ahh, that picture reminds me of my girlfriend and I. *sigh*... Sorry, back to the point...

Most lesbians will know that Bette + Tina = TiBette. Not to be confused with Chinese plateau Tibet, of course.

Excuse me, I'm going off track again, hah! Anyway, friends of lesbians always merge their friends' names to create one. Another example would be Callie + Arizona = Calzona. (Referring to Grey's Anatomy, obviously.)

I don't know why lesbians in particular do this... Possibly because gay marriage is still only legal in 5 states (ed's note: yay for Maine!) and the majority of us still can't take the name of our loved one in holy matrimony. Pssh.

So that's it: our first 5 lesbian 'clichés'. What would you like to see in the next post, oh experienced lesbians?

EDIT: Okay, okay, so maybe we do this for all couples. But doesn't anyone else think that lesbians do it to the maximum?

Tuesday 5 May 2009

Things hot up on 'Britain's Next Top Model'

This week, the girls of UK TV show Britain's Next Top Model were required to get 'up close and personal' on their photoshoot.

Obviously, some of the contestants were quite hesitant, but the shoot demanded them to 
kiss and canoodle - often with their worst enemies! One of my personal favorite photos of this week was of Jade getting rather close to Lauren.

Some of the ladies however, started out with horrendously homophobic comments towards the situation. Many approached the situation with comments such as "it looked absolutely disgusting" and one said "I'd rather kiss a frog than a girl." Umm...what? *cough* freak.

Anyway, it seems that most of the girls who were scared at first actually ended up enjoying the whole thing - proving my theory may be correct about everyone being gay! Good times. And in the words of my girlfriend "I don't know what they were complaining about!" Amen to that!

Another of my favorite photos was this sexy shot of cocoa-skinned Kacey caressing Russian beauty Viola's leg.

Let's keep every shoot this sexy, yes?

Sunday 3 May 2009

'AllThingsLesbeau' gets twitter!

Just thought I'd inform fans of the blog that you can now follow blog updates on twitter!

The new sensation sweeping the net, twitter allows you to follow celebrities and friends through their every day lives! It's like stalking made easy! Ha!

So go follow us at for the newest updates on the blog direct to your phone/computer.

We'll also be taking blog requests - if you have a topic you'd like to see discussed or simply want our opinion on the matter, give us a tweet!