Lost Girl S04E02 Recap: "Sleeping Beauty School"

WARNING: This article quite clearly contains spoilers of the highest level!

by Lauren W

Well one thing is for sure: you cannot be expected to understand much more from this episode.

Let's see if I can recap episode 2 for you in some coherent manner...

After a brief (and kind of unnecessary) plea from Trick (Rick Howland) as he asks Bo (Anna Silk) to come home, Dyson (Kris-Holden Reid) pulls up on his motorcycle at the season 3 finale crash site and finds...

Jungle child?

Who is this messy-haired toe rag?

Dyson drags the kid to Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) Manor... and the pair realize that the child is, in fact, Tamsin. (Rachel Skarsten).

You're shitting me, right?

In all fairness, the child actor does well at portraying a mini-Tamsin. She's got her sarcastic tone down... And she's also important to the plot line as Tamsin was the last person to see Bo. Huzzah!

Cut to Doctor Lauren/Waitress Amber (Zoie Palmer) in the cafeteria... Chatting to - oh! It's only Bomb Girls' Ali Liebert!

Nom nom.

Lauren is overly mean to her (grr, don't make me dislike you even more), and she leaves.

Meanwhile, Dyson and Kenzi are still pondering over what to do with baby Tam Tam. Trick tells them a valkyrie's memory comes back slowly, so this could take a while. Of course, because nothing is ever easy on this show.

Trick reveals all about what happened last week with Aoife (Bo's Mother), and Kenzi whips out the compass she stole in last week's episode.

Trick: Always the pessimist.

As always, Trick has bad news. The compass shows him that Bo is not even on this physical plane. 

BUT, we are about to find out where she is... Kind of.

Oh, Anna. That broken glass frames your face so elegantly.

Obvious. Don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. Bo is on some sort of hell train. (Note the obvious sarcasm.)

Trick gives us some more info about those darned Una Mens, who are apparently interviewing a bunch of Fae to figure out why the world (and by "the world", I mean Toronto) is in such a mess.

And one of those Fae is Vex. (Paul Amos.)

As Vex is tied naked to a slab, the Una Mens question him about the apparent death of The Morrigan. He tells them she's alive... but they shouldn't kill him because he can give them "her." (You should also note that the weird bitches make him eat part of their skin, too. Yum.)

Kinda stalker-ish, don't you think?

They do not reveal which "her" Vex is talking about just yet, but you should also note the Una Mens have a mask for the rest of the gang too. (Including "Claimed Human" (who?), "Human Terrorist" (oh, Kenz), and a mask that's just out of sight, but we'll assume those blue eyes belong to Tamsin.)

Back in the real world, Hale (KC Collins) and Dyson head out to a, seemingly normal, salon. And then look who shows up.

Yes, that blouse belonged to Shakespeare in 1585.

Cleo (Mia Kirshner) gives Hale a temporary Hindi tattoo on his hand (all will become clear), as she explains where they can find this Eddy character. And to find him, they will have to go via Astrid. Again, all will become clear.

No! Not the fairy dust!

Ut oh, baby Tamsin did a naughty. She drops Kenzi's magic down the toilet, prompting Kenzi to run over kind of like an addict who's stash has just been flushed. She proceeds to show Tamsin the sparklers she can produce with her hands... and then promises to make cookies.

Over at Astrid's place, she explains that the Hindi on Hale's hand cannot help. Why? Because apparently Cleo doesn't want them to find Eddy. What?

I did not sign up for this.

Yeah, by the way, this bitch has no mouth. Okay? Thankfully time was not wasted with this creep, as she gives Dyson a potion named "One Kiss". Dyson is equally as confused as us, apparently, because no one knows what it is or what it does. But I'm sure we'll find out.

Back in the loft, look what little Tam finds.

And still we are no closer to finding out what these cards mean.

She questions Kenzi. "Do you think Bo is stuck in the card?" Oh Lord, we hope not. (But probably yes.)

Over to waitress Amber, who has found a 'missing persons' ad in the newspaper, including this terrible artist's impression of Bo.

This is the best you could do?

Of course Lauren/Amber is startled by this weird (let's face it, it's weird) photo, prompting her to drop her waiting tray all over the floor. And Ali Liebert to the rescue! (By the way, her character's name is Crystal.)

Crystal notes that Lauren clearly has never waited a table in her life. True. 

No please, continue.

Crystal also flirts with Lauren, and continues to reel off a list of adjectives to describe her which include sexy, funny and cute. And courageously, the blonde asks her out. AND LAUREN REFUSES. Please, I know you love Bo but how could you turn this down? Damn.

Oh, look, Dyson has found Eddy. (As you can see I'm not really caring so much because Crystal has caught me off-guard.)

Mr. Wolf Man shows his anger. As usual.

Long story short, Dyson has found Eddy in a deep sleep. And apparently the only way to wake him is through a kiss from this woman. I think her name is Selene... and I know she's not that important. Anyway, Dyson uses the potion from Astrid to force her to kiss him. (Slightly rapey.)

Aaaand he's awake!

Here's your quick Bo fix for the episode, because she's barely in it once again:

Just me or does Bo go for the ladies more often than the men?

She sucks the maid dry (no pun intended), who keeps talking about the man who put Bo there. Who is this mystery man? We are still no closer to finding out.

Eddy, Dyson and Hale are on the hunt.

Help. Too much testosterone.

Hale gets all defensive because Eddy thinks Kenzi and Dyson are lovers. (Bleurgh.) And Eddy forces Dyson to describe what Bo is like in order for him to find her. It's kinda cute... but he's not a lady so I'm kind of over it within two seconds.

However, Dyson does give Hale a kick up the arse, and tells him he needs to suck it up and tell Kenzi how he feels. (True.)

What the hell is this?

WONDERFUL.

In short, this scene is action-packed: 

1) Gross dude pervs on Lauren. 

2) Crystal tells her not to think too much of it. 

3) Gross dude chokes on breakfast. 

4) Lauren SLICES HIS THROAT OPEN. 

5) She identifies which Fae he is and dislodges something from his throat. 

6) Gross dude Fae is saved. 

7) ...Crystal got the whole thing on video. Oops.

That escalated quickly.

Cut to - oh, Hale took Dyson's advice, it seems! He likes her and now she knows it for sure. I actually ship these two and I'm not sure why...

Anyway, Hale realizes Kenzi is only so readily jumping into bed (or on the kitchen table) with him because of the perfume. What perfume? That part escaped my mind too. They stop kissing because baby Tamsin screams from the other room.

Oh wow.

Baby Tamsin is now adolescent Tamsin. Kenzi hilariously labels her "Portia DeGeneres Shakira David Lee Roth" (best Kenzi-ism of the season so far) and panicks because if she keeps growing so fast she'll be "Betty White by Tuesday". And this is why Kenzi is forever the best.

Plus side? Maybe if she keeps growing she'll grow into Rachel Skarsten sometime soon...

While this is all happening, Dyson finds some weird device near a train track.

Just looks like a vintage gas pump to me...

Dyson realizes that Eddy has been asleep for so long that he's actually useless... and Mia Kirshner, I mean Cleo, is the one who can really help.

She explains that she can commune with all the four elements and that she is actually now Eddy. What? I'm sure we'll find out at some point... Maybe.

(I have nothing witty to say. I just thought this was a great shot.)

Cleo predicts that a train is on its way and sure enough, one promptly comes and blasts Eddy to hell. Team Clyson.

She explains that they need to get the next train and they'll need a ticket... And Dyson thinks he actually has one!

Unexplained card to the rescue!

Dyson picks up the card from Kenzi and then receives a phone call from Lauren, who wants to come home.

At the same time however, Vex seems to have made a call to Cleo, who has somehow convinced her to bring Bo to him once she finds her. (It's his payment to the Una Mens in return for his life, if you'd forgotten.)

Cleo gives Dyson her "blood oath" that she will find Bo, which only makes Dyson suspicious. Why is she so eager all of a sudden?

This all looks like some deeply depressing princess movie.

Meanwhile, Kenzi finds one of Trick's... well, tricks, and puts it in a bag to take to him while teen Tamsin is sleeping.

In the diner, Lauren and Crystal are drinking what looks like tequila shots. She roots through Crystal's purse to look for that damn video of the weird throat-y Fae and Crystal catches her. Lauren explains the situation and Crystal duly deletes the video. 

Yes.

Cute. I ship this. There was some weird chemistry in that hug. And Lauren tells Crystal her real name. The whole thing is super sweet. 

And finally I realize what should be endgame here. My current Lost Girl ships are as follows: Lauren/Crystal, Kenzi/Hale, Dyson/Cleo... and Bo/Tamsin. YES.

To end the episode, we see Bo. Finally. Who has sucked just enough energy from the help to escape the death train.

Weeeeeeeee!

Next week, I am pretty sure we will follow Cleo and Dyson as they get to the train, see the drained maid, and realize that Bo has made a run for it.

Did you prefer this episode to last week's? What do you think season 4 is missing so far? Let us know in the comments!

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