WARNING: This article quite clearly contains spoilers of the highest level!
by Lauren W
Huzzah! An episode without Dyson! Nothing against Kris Holden-Ried, but Dyson is a terrible character.
So what's going down this week in the land of Fae?
|Dark? Oh haaaaayl no.
We pick up exactly where we left off, actually. And Bo (Anna Silk) calls bullshit on the Una Mens, who seem to think she has aligned herself with the dark. She also figures out that Vex (Paul Amos) has something to do with these shenanigans.
Then some cray cray Fae-ness hits the fan.
|What an odd way to have a threesome.
Bo somehow has the power to succubus a bunch of people at once these days... But they fire back and Bo collapses in a heap on the floor. Oops.
The Una Mens are all "go pledge allegiance to the dark leader or die" and Bo is all WHOA BITCH I get it.
So off she goes with Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) and is surprised to find that the leader of the dark is actually...
Aw yes, Evony. (Emmanuelle Vaugier.) Wearing a kick ass wig, I see.
Evony is super shocked but also super happy that Bo has chosen her side. All Bo is interested in though is finding Vex.
So, naturally, Evony invites Bo and her friends to her party tonight. I smell fun.
|Trick: Hottest older man in the West, apparently.
Cut to Trick (Rick Howland) who is trying to find out whatever he can about the Wanderer... whilst also getting hit on by the anonymous caller. Go, Trick.
Trick has some weird squealing walnut-type thingy in a box that will not be explained just yet... or even in this episode. But I guess we should take note of it.
Then the Una Mens come and steal him away. Ut oh.
|Just look at that back.
Over at the Morrigan's party, Tamsin (Rachel Skarsten) and Kenzi are having a few drinks while Bo argues that she knows herself, and questions why everyone's looking at her.
Of course Evony knows that they're just delighted to see the unaligned succubus has finally found her way to the dark. Yay!
She tells Bo that she's gonna give her all the resources she has to hunt Vex down, and she has one other gift for her...
|They might as well have given her a halo. Look at all that angelic light.
I'm starting to think the dark are way better than the light. I mean, the light only ever do the worst things to Bo and Lauren (Zoie Palmer) and just look at this. Adorable.
While this is all going on, we keep cutting to Trick with the Una Mens... but let's be real, no one cares. (Basically all you need to know for now is that he's not loving them and he sneakily gets out a sword. Just in case.)
Bo and Lauren are like "we need to talk", which quickly turns into -
|As Bo says, "waste not, want not".
Meanwhile in the other room, Kenzi and Tamsin are minding their own business, helping themselves to the sushi buffet when -
|And suddenly I'm attracted to this guy.
Hi, Bruce! Love this guy.
Kenzi cutely names him "Br-ushi" (get it?) and he tells her that he's been trapped under a dark Fae's influence because he helped her out of a pickle last season.
She tells him to get up - completely ruining the sushi - and Kenzi pulls the tablecloth off another table to give it to him to use as a shirt... and she inadvertently finds the poor newlyweds that the dark Fae killed to steal this venue from. Ha.
|Evony is loving this view.
And then comes possibly some of the best lines ever to come out of Lost Girl. When Evony catches Bo and Lauren kissing, her exact words are:
"Boriiiiing. What's next? Are you gonna braid each other's hair? Scissor already!"
And Evony is quickly becoming one of my favourite characters.
She tells Bo that she'll give her those resources for Vex if she gives her her blood oath that she'll bring him to her afterwards.
|I'm actually kind of scared of her...
Enter this lovely creature. Evony tells Lauren she's also needed on this 'mission', because Bo will need a drug to make Vex powerless so that he'll come along willingly.
I'm still not entirely sure what the point of the lady in the pink dress is, and the next few scenes don't really help either. But she is pretty funny so we'll exchange our "Dear producers, what the hell were you thinking?" for "haha, thanks for the laughs."
|I knew there was a reason I was creeped out.
So in the next scene, the scavenger stabs a poor, faceless creature to death to steal their pointy knife. (See, why couldn't Bo just have done this? Confusion.)
Oh okay wait. There is a very lame excuse for her coming along, but really it still wasn't necessary. Bo could have done this herself and saved time... But I digress. I'm not gonna turn this into a rant about pointless Lost Girl characters... Maybe.
Back at the party...
|DJ Tamsin in the house.
So Kenzi and Tamsin figure out that any Fae can claim ownership over another captive, so Tamsin announces her new control over Bruce.
Unfortunately, they did not know that the current holder of Bruce has the right to defend what they own and this is what she's up against.
|This bitch is badass.
Yeah, good luck Tamsin.
Back in a random alleyway, Vex controls a poor, innocent woman into getting the pointy knife thing from Bo, Lauren, and Miss Frills.
The woman kicks the scavenger in the shin, and Lauren runs over to help. Just a bruise. And then Bo rushes off to follow the woman to Vex, complete with syringe.
|Boom! Right in the jugular.
Long story short, Bo finds Vex, Bo kicks the ass of the woman under Vex's control, aaaaand Vex gets his hands on Bo's drug and paralyses her.
Oh also, Vex seems to have a hand that is sort of... Well it looks mummified.
In between listening to Bo ramblings about her love for Lauren, Vex tells her that the Una Mens cut off each of his family members' hands so they had no power. And he is going to perform a self amputation on the zombie hand to make sure his other hand remains.
|Everyone's favourite Sid Vicious wannabe.
During this terribly sad story though, Vex manages to get one awesome line out.
"I will miss Ginger. But at least I'll still be able to dance with Fred."
Vintage pop culture references for the win. Oh, by the way, the paralysis is wearing off on Bo.
Somehow back at the dark Fae party, this is happening.
For some reason, Tamsin has chosen to fight her battle for Bruce in the form of a dance off to the death. Genius.
Tamsin busts some pretty terrible moves, some average ones with the help of Kenzi, and her opponent spins on her head does all sort of amazing shit.
But then, Tamsin gets her valkyrie on.
|Still hot. I can't help it.
Somehow, this causes her dance off rival to attempt a somersault and she ends up landing on her neck.
Go, Tamsin! Bruce is now theirs.
Meanwhile, Vex takes the potion he's created but it just has an adverse reaction. Bo, for some reason, is attempting to convince Vex not to chop his own hand off, but -
Bo can finally move, but she's too late. Vex's hand is gone.
When he stands back up, Bo tries questioning him once again about how he turned her dark. He reveals that he actually doesn't know anything about it. Oh.
Anyway, Vex is left with a stump.
|Power stance, go!
Bo takes Vex's hand back to Evony, who explains that she doesn't want to hurt Vex. "Unlike the light, the dark don't hold grudges". All she cares about is destroying the Una Mens.
Bo demands Evony to call for her archivist so she can find out who signed her over to the dark.
|Ew. Stop that.
Of course a good old pen and paper isn't good enough for the Fae and their records are kept on the archivist's skin. He peels the top layer off, which is enough to make me stop eating for a week.
The skin reveals that yep, Bo did sign the agreement. There's nothing she can do and she owes Evony her loyalty. Oh one more thing, if she wants to overturn the agreement, she'll have to find her sponsor. Only trouble is, no one knows who this "Rayner" is.
Back with the dreaded Una Mens...
|Trick puts his sword away. No pun intended.
It is revealed that they have decided to make Trick the acting Ash. Ooooooh.
Then there's a little, kinda heartbreaking scene in which Lauren tells Bo she can't be with the light anymore and that she feels like she owes something to the dark. (They did look for her when the light abandoned her, after all.)
No worries though, because Bo is also technically dark now... so they will be seeing each other.
|So, so cute.
Back at Benzi manor, Kenzi sets Bruce free and tells him to "spread his wings and fly". Vomit. What a cheese-fest.
But the camera then pans to Tamsin, who smiles at these instructions. Please, please tell me they're setting us up for a Valkyubus LoveFest. Please.
The episode ends with this cute Grandfather-Granddaughter exchange:
Yes, Bo's grandfather is now the acting ash for the light fae, while she is (as Trick says) "darling of the dark." Cute.
Meanwhile though, the camera cuts to Trick's cellar where... someone has stolen his squealing walnut. And the Una Mens find out that this Rayner guy is Bo's sponsor.
They have an odd reaction, which is something along the lines of "Rayner? No, this can't be. Never again."
What an odd end to the episode.
So what did you think? Better or worse than last week?
We really do love hearing your thoughts, so keep them coming!