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Tuesday 2 June 2009

Lesbian Clichés (Part 2)

It's back! After popular demand, I've gone ahead and written 'Lesbian Clichés (Part 2)' a week early. Let's get cracking, shall we?

Cliché numero Seis: Tank Tops.

That's right, if you're thinking "well straight people wear them too!" - I know! I FREAKIN' KNOW! But what is a tell-tale sign when recognizing a dyke on the prowl? A tank top. a.k.a. 

Yeah, yeah, the woman above is not a lesbo. But she is so hot. ;)

You will, however, find many famous lesbians including Cathy DeBuono and Jenny Shimizu wearing them. Chances are, if you're out in a bar or a nightclub, the girls in the tank tops are the gay ones! You can even get awesome lesbian themed versions for yourself at CafePress. (Like the one below!)

Cliché numero siete: U-Haul.

U-Haul? If you're a lesbian and reading this, I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about. For you non-lesbians, I'll explain...

U-Haul (also known as 'the lesbian urge to merge') is when a lesbian couple decide they are going to move in together after knowing each other for only a short time - sometimes even only a couple of weeks!

For example, my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for 5 months now, and we have already decided we're going to buy an apartment together in London, have at least one child (that she will be carrying) and maybe get a pet cat/dog. All this in five months? Not that I'd know, but I'm sure most straight couples would be totally freaked out by this notion at only 5 months...

On that note, does anyone know why this is? How come lesbians decide this stuff so quickly?

Cliché numero ocho: Ties.

Perhaps made more mainstream by The L Word's Shane (Kate Moennig), ties are a dead give away when spotting a lesbian.

Again, no idea why this is, but dykes (especially soft butches) tend to wear ties a lot. Not to look smart or presentable, perhaps just to look cool? Whatever, it works!

Cliché numero nueve: Being Butch.

Now I'm not saying all lesbians are butch, I'm saying that straight people think all lesbians are butch.

Now I know this is factually inaccurate - I myself am a HUGE femme. Right now, I'm wearing Barbie pink nail polish and girly eyeliner, so why is this a preconceived notion among straight people? Maybe we should show them some real femmes. Or haven't they heard of Portia De Rossi?

Cliché numero diez: Gay Bumper Stickers!

So they're not exclusive to lesbians, but to gays in general. I guess they're just our little way of letting other gays know!

Aww, doesn't it look pretty? You know you want a gay bumper sticker... Unless you already have one... And if you do, get more! MOAR!

And that's it! I'm sure there are hundreds more. If you think of any, let me know and I'll think about put a 'part 3' together. Until next time!


Jet-je Valk said...

Only gat a lot of clichés in dutch....

Rosalie Kate said...

I love it.

And I'll make very few comments on this one, so not to come across all bitchy like last time :-/

but one POSITIVE thing to say.
You said three of my favourite words!

Portia De Rossi.

who's that girl? said...

Haha, totally agree about the 'u-haul' but yet I seem to do it everytime! =)

Anonymous said...

Thank you dearest ♥LEZSTAR♥, I am amazed and grateful.
Tender and hot for you


Matt said...

Woo woo! Thank you SO much for hearing my screechy cries and making part 2! I loved reading it! :D

*** GayGirl2000 *** said...

This is TOO funny... and SO true! ;o)
Though I have to say; I think you've become victim to cliché #9 yourself, since you assume the HOT woman in the wifebeater (the picture illustrating cliché #6) is not gay? Unless you know her, of course.
I'm just saying, I do know lesbians that do look like that - but they also prove your cliché #9 to be dead on, since nobody thinks they're gay, LOL.
So, when's the next installment of Lesbian Clichés coming? ;o)
- GG

*** GayGirl2000 *** said...

Completely forgot to mention the U-haul thing: In my case, Wifey and I were practically living together from before we were a couple (best friends a few months till we couldn't help ourselves, LOL). Officially, we'd been together for 4-5 months, when we were both registered to the same address. ;o)

lezstar said...

ha! Oh yeah, agree with you on Cliche number 9.
I don't know her. I guess I look like that in a way. I'm not butch at all. And I don't look like a stereotypical lesbian. More like something of the L Word ha!
Umm Part 3? idk, I need ideas of what to include!

steph.has said...

"wife-beaters"? how about "wife-pleasers"

oooooh yeah......

Style Geek said...

I feel you on the butch thing.
My hair is real short but today I wore purple tights and black pumps to work.

~ The Style Geek
Life, Love, & the Pursuit of Fashionable People