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Friday 30 April 2010

Home Sweet Homophobia

Remember when I came out and my Dad was "fine with it"?

Well, turns out he's changed his mind.

The most annoying thing is, he has ridiculous reasons for not liking my homosexual status.

Here is a list of some of the things he has recently said to me:
  • "You're just ruining your life before it's even started in my opinion." - Yes, because having a gay lifestyle means your life is ruined. Just because it's not how you live, doesn't mean some people don't enjoy it.
  • "If I find out someone's influenced you, I'll stab them. I don't care who it is." - Okay, a) You wouldn't stab anyone. In fact, you wouldn't touch someone gay: you're a fucking coward. And b) No one influenced me to be gay. Actually, that is the most absurd thing I've ever heard.
  • "I don't think you're gay. I think you say you are because your friends are. You're doing it to be fashionable." - Yes Father, I also dye my hair ginger because my friend has ginger hair. (Sarcasm, by the way.) And fashionable? Yeah, constantly having homophobic comments hurled at me and people like me is extremely fashionable. Douche.
  • "You can't tell anyone in our town. You won't even be able to walk down the street." - I don't know how you haven't noticed that around 30% of our town's population is gay or bisexual. And also, everyone in Tuxford already knows I'm a raging dyke and not once have I felt insecure whilst walking down the street.
There are other things he's said, but those are a few of the most recent ones. Ridiculous, right?

However, I have an awesome Mother who accepts me for who I am. I love her.

The motto of the story? Don't let anyone tell you who or what to be. Be yourself, always.


Natja's Natterings said...

Oh wow, how freaky is that? Mind you, my mother recently decided to urge me to be careful because my partners (I am poly btw) might want to kill me for the insurance money.

We don't even have insurance.....

Oh well, you can't choose your family can you?

Jitka said...

I was shaking my head while reading your post and still wasn't able to believe it. Seems like it's not from his own head, like somebody else told him this bullshit and now he repeats it because it is easier than the truth. On the other hand, I can't fully judge him as I'm not out to my parents. Maybe they would say these exact words... Being gay is not common in my country.

A Strange Boy said...

I really hate it when people try to invalidate who you are or what you like just because it's something that they don't like or are uncomfortable with. I've seen my mother decided me and my sisters don't like certain foods just because she doesn't like them. It makes me wonder what's going to happen when I come out myself.

lezstar said...

"A Strange Boy" - I'm glad it's not just me. Just remember when you do come out, don't let them tell you you're not gay. Be who you are and don't be ashamed of it.

ughaGHOST said...

Hopefully your dad will come around.Probably only after he realizes how much what he says hurts you but eventually he probs will.Maybe he just needs to be more educated about what beinggay actually is,not just being attracted to the same sex but being true to yourself.

Miss Éclaire said...

One day that father of yours will come around and tell you "i'm sorry". If he doesn't is just not that into you (and by that I mean he just can't understand the fact that you can love a sun/daughter who's not realy like you'de plane). My mom is like yours, we're pretty lucky; my father dosen't say much and I know I prefere it that way - he's proud of me anyway and if one day i'll get married I know he'll be there.

Everything pass, don't let him ruin your colour proud. :)

julie said...

This brings back some painful memories.
My mum was hysterical for months after I
came out and used to say crazy things like
"all lesbians should be taken out into the street and shot" Nice!
You're lucky that your mum is supportive,maybe you can ask her to talk to him.A friend of mine went to counselling sessions with his father many years after coming out.It's transformed their relationship and he wishes that they had done it years ago.
Maybe he would consider this once he's calmed down and become a rational human being again.

Well done for coming out tho. Hope things get better soon.

Anonymous said...

That's bullshit :/

The strangest thing is that when I came out to my parents my Dad used to say the same fucking ridiculous things to me! He said that I'm rebelling now 'cos I didn't know how when I was a teenager. Yes, for sure. And that I can't go shouting it out to everybody. On top of all that he told me that my girlfriend was taking advantage of me, and all sorts of horrible things... Just a few days after he had said to me that it was fine. What's wrong with the older generation??

But try to hang in there! If he doesn't come around then that's his loss, at least, that's how I think in my own situation. You're not the only one :)

Anonymous said...

Isn't it odd how someone can simultaneously think "You're gay to be cool" and "Don't be gay, everyone will hate you"?

I'm sorry you're going through this.

lookatthestar said...

Lol! Fashionable??! since when is being gay is fashionable?! Jeez..Someone must said something to ya dad. Yeah, he will come around gotta be who want to be..i wish i could say the same for me..being in the closet sucks! I dont have the balls to come out..oh wait I dont have balls..just boobs! oh well visibility matters.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Laureen,
The angry man on the picture is certainly not identical your father, he's frightening ugly.
I just can agree with your conclusion, not much to ad.
Parents always want "the very best" for their children, thinking they have to be if not a reproduction of themselves, at least in the straight path.
It seems to me that it is more difficult to come out in Great Britain, than in Flanders. Is that so?
Big Kiss,

Alu said...

I am sorry you have to deal with that. I knew my sexuality at a very young age but hid it from my mother. Sadly she would often go through my room and I couldn't hid it any more. I heard many similar things from her. She had an awful temper and would call me a "lesbo" and many other things in an attempt to hurt me. I think once your father really sees that your life is in fact better being honest to who you are he'll come around. I feel sorry for parents who are conditioned to think that way. Lots of love sent your way dear.