REVIEW: Lesbian Web Series "Dagger Kiss"

by Lauren W

When the star of Dagger Kiss, Tucky Williams, approached me to write a little something on her new lesbian web series (which she wrote herself) I'm not gonna lie, my first thought was "ugh, not another lesbian web series".

As the creator of this blog, I am constantly sent web series to view and after a while it became apparent that the majority of them were samey: cliche story lines and the odd love scene.

This is where Dagger Kiss (nicely) surprised me.

Not only was I surprised that there was something that actually resembled a plot, Dagger's main three stars can actually act.

Because of their talent (amongst other things) I found myself quickly falling in love with all three of them. And I'm not exaggerating. They all gave me major heart eyes at one point or another.

One of the most refreshing things about this web series was that they didn't shy away from the gay. I guess that's what you get when an actual lesbian writes the series; they know what their audience wants to see.

Right from the first episode, they dive in (pun intended) with sweet lady kisses in an enchanted forest. Sorry, did I spring the enchanted forest thing on you a little there? That's right, this series is also fantasy themed - another thing I found particularly original about Dagger Kiss. Every other lesbian-themed web series I've seen has focused on real life situations. Why not give us something out of the ordinary? I mean, a vast array of genres are what the Straights™ have been enjoying since time began.

I can't lie to you here either: I binge-watched the entire series in one go.

Because the episodes are all around 10 minutes or less, it makes for premium quality binge-watching. Viewing them all at once made the whole thing seem like a cute indie film rather than a TV show and that's not a bad thing.

When it comes down to it, Dagger Kiss is one of the best lesbian web series I've seen thus far. If you hadn't heard of Williams before now, this will certainly leave you wanting more.

You can watch Dagger Kiss for free through the links on their official website HERE.

TV FANGIRL MOMENT OF THE MONTH: Person of (Lesbian) Interest

by Lauren W

You may remember the last time I wrote a "fangirl moment of the month" article, in which I ranted a lot about what the title of this segment should be. (Click HERE if you don't!)

Well, this month, I'm going to be doing a lot less ranting and a lot more incoherent fangirling because -

HDSFSUDIOFSPFAFPINADIOSAJFNKLCVNXM

Yes, that is Sarah Shahi (Carmen from The L Word) and yes, that is Amy Acker (Fred from Angel) and YES, THEY ARE KISSING.

Once again, I am a few weeks late writing this one up as my favourite 'fangirl moment', but the point is, I got there in the end. And my gosh, it is glorious. (Plus, it's kinda still fresh for me, because I've watched this episode only about 5 billion times since it aired.)

Just to let you into the context of the show a little bit, Shaw (Shahi) is a badass former assassin who now helps people with the assistance of a gun and an adorable little guy named Finch (played by Michael Emerson). Root (Acker) is a slightly insane, badass computer nerd who enjoys wielding two guns at once to get the bad guys. You heard that correctly; two guns.

Throughout this past season (and the season before), Root has been overtly flirting with Shaw, whilst Shaw has been ignoring her advances; possibly because she's a self-diagnosed sociopath with no feelings for anyone except the team's German Shepherd, Bear.

And then, we found out Shaw DOES have feelings for one lady, and that lady is Root. *insert heart eyes here*

The witty dialogue between the two of them creates this amazing chemistry that you just can't fake, no matter how good the acting. Both actresses play their parts with conviction and professionalism... Oh, and they're both incredibly hot, too.

When it got to episode 11 of season 4, Root and Shaw finally got their kiss. (By the way, it's an amazing episode even without the kiss. It is currently holding a 9.9/10 rating on IMDb).

Here's another GIF, just because I like you:

Look at me and tell me those eyes aren't screaming "I LOVE YOU".

Anyway, right now PoI fans are FREAKING OUT because of this week's episode promo, so I guess I should give you a glimpse at that too. (Can you tell I'm trying to entice you into watching this show so I have someone to fangirl with?!)

You can watch Person of Interest TONIGHT on CBS at 10/9c.

DON'T MISS OUT. THE ENTIRE ROOT X SHAW FANDOM IS SO EXCITED.

TV FANGIRL MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Is Paily No More?

by Lauren W

Firstly, Happy New Year!

Secondly, I'm excited to tell you all about the new segment I dreamt up in my haze of watching too much television over the holidays.

"TV Fangirl Moment of the Week" is it's name, and, well, it's pretty self-explanatory what that entails. In short, I'm gonna tell you what I've been fan-girling the most over this week in television, and hopefully you'll let me know of some of your favourite television moments each week in the comments or on our Twitter!

So, here we go. My first ever TV fangirl moment of the week is...

Image Credit: dangerousdaydreamers via Tumblr

I'm sorry to kickstart this new segment with something so sad but... MY PAILY HEART IS IN PAIN, YOU GAYS.

This week in Pretty Little Liars' Winter Premiere, power "teenage" lesbian couple Emily Fields (Shay Mitchell) and Paige McCullers (Lindsey Shaw) said goodbye to one another in a pool full of tears. (Now, I'm not saying that I know Paige killed Mona (Janel Parrish) and that's why she's really leaving, but it's just a thought... Actually scrap that. I'm convinced she did it.)

Television has a habit of giving lesbian couples ridiculously heart-breaking airport scenes, (yes, this one was all too reminiscent of Calzona's airport break-up in season 7 of Grey's Anatomy), but somehow I am never prepared for it to happen over and over again.

Obviously I'm classing this moment as one to fan-girl over just because that final kiss goodbye sent a tingle to my otherwise cold and icy heart.

I'm also finding a little bit of solitude in the thought that this is probably not the last we've seen of Paige. She's a fan-favourite, and I think creator I. Marlene King has killed off far too many lesbians on this show already. Put it this way: at least Paige isn't dead. For now.

So, because this could be the last time we see Paige in a while, I've made this my first ever TV fan-girl moment of the week. My heart is bleeding.

Honourable Mention:

Image Credit: Valkubus via Tumblr

TAMSIN (Rachel Skarsten) AND BO (Anna Silk) HAD SEX ON LOST GIRL AND THEN HAD A MAJOR POST-COITAL HEART TO HEART AFTERWARDS. THANK YOU, TELEVISION GODS.

What did you fan-girl most over on television this week? 

Let me know in the comments below! (Or via our Twitter: http://twitter.com/allthingsles).

Introducing the Dinah Shore "THE L WORD" Pool Party!

CLUB SKIRTS

IN ASSOCIATION WITH SHOWTIME^® PRESENTS

“THE L WORD^®”

DINAH POOL PARTY 

WITH AN EXCLUSIVE MEET & GREET WITH STARS

KATE MOENNIG & LEISHA HAILEY

Palm Springs, CA – Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend, in association with SHOWTIME, is bringing back the magic of the hugely popular, groundbreaking lesbian drama, The L Word, with an exclusive “L Word” pool party during the legendary Dinah Shore Weekend in Palm Springs, CA.

On Saturday, April 5, 2014, The L Word stars Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig will, respectively, step back one more time into their famed Alice Pieszecki and Shane McCutcheon shoes for an exclusive meet and greet hosted from 2:30pm to 5:00pm at The Hilton Hotel. Fans will also be able to catch them on the red carpet at the Dinah's "Black Party" held later on Saturday night at the Palm Springs Convention Center. 

Dinah attendees will have the once in a lifetime chance to take photos and get their favorite L Word memorabilia autographed by two of the most popular characters of the beloved, critically-acclaimed television series. In addition, limited edition The L Word swag will exclusively be given away throughout the event courtesy of SHOWTIME.

Since the show ended its five-year run on March 8, 2009, both Kate and Leisha have been keeping busy entertainment careers. Kate is currently starring on the hit series on SHOWTIME Ray Donovan, playing the role of Lena –one of Ray’s associates. She’s also filming “My Dead Boyfriend”, a film based on Arthur Nersesian’s 2000 novel Dogrun also starring Heather Graham, Gina Gershon and Angela Featherstone. As for Leisha, she’s still making music as one half of the acclaimed electropop duo Uh Huh Her and is getting ready to release the first single off “Future Souls” dubbed “Innocence” available February 4 on iTunes.

As this year marks the 10^th Anniversary of the official television debut of The L Word, Club Skirts and SHOWTIME are proudly commemorating the nostalgia of a memorable era in lesbian culture that celebrated out loud our “girls in tight dresses who drag with mustaches”!

SHOWTIME has been a long-time supporter of the LGBT community with programs like The L Word and The Real L Word^®, and has developed over the years a close relationship with Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend. The Dinah served as the focal location for both series.

We all remember Shane, Alice, Jenny, and Dana eventful roadtrip to The Dinah, the biggest lesbian event in the world, in Season One. Likewise, The Real L Word shot episodes of Season One and Two at Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend and notably dedicated two back-to-back full episodes to the event in its third season.

Speaking about The Real L Word, the reality TV show will also have a prominent presence at the highly-anticipated Pool Party with a live performance by Season 3 cast members, Hunter Valentine. The all-female Power, pop/punk band will take the stage at the Hilton Hotel at5:00pm and will close the massive Pool Bash with a special meet & greet.

Countdown to Dinah has started!

The epic five-day world-renown weekend is already making a lot of noise and is well on its way to be the biggest Dinah EVER.

 … this is going to be an unforgettable year!

For more information and/or to purchase tickets go to: www.TheDinah.com

Lost Girl S04E08 Recap: "Groundhog Fae."

WARNING: This article quite clearly contains spoilers of the highest level!

by Lauren W

Alright, you're probably thinking "bitch, where's my Lost Girl recap?!"

Well, thinking ahead of time, I decided to save this recap until now, because there was no new episode this week. Cry cry.

Here goes!

Holy. Crap.

You may have seen this scene previously, as Showcase released it for the whole world to see a few weeks back.

But dayum, Bo. We see her (Anna Silk) washing her car with a whole lotta bubbles, revealing a whole lotta cleavage.

Lauren (Zoie Palmer) and Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried) can do nothing but stare. And neither can we.

After the car wash, Bo heads inside and leaves a 20 on the counter for the two creepy gas station owners... and helps herself to some free candy on the way out.

Summer Christmas doesn't sound like a bad idea...

Trick (Rick Howland) is attempting to teach Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) all about this weird fae summer Christmas celebration the Fae call "Yule". Only in Fae world, there's no Santa Claus, only Krampus - the anti-Claus. Clever.

The clan have set up a mini-festive party for Bo to enjoy, and they all vow to make this fun for her.

But where is Bo?

Still gorgeous, even with bad breath.

It seems they've left her in the car. But they wouldn't... would they?

Bo wakes up to the radio singing "don't forget about me this Christmas." Oh, the irony.

When she gets inside, she realizes there are a bunch of strangers at this party, including some "Choga" guy who wants her to... lick him? Oh, and the lovely Bruce.

Scariest puppy dog in all the land.

In Bo's room, Lauren and Dyson are pondering over whether or not they should give this mystical looking box to Bo. It is addressed to her after all.

Bo finds the pair of them - who shield her view of the box - and Vex (Paul Amos) also makes his presence known.

Bo leaves to find Kenzi, who is kinda busy.

Red hair, don't care.

Yup, she's busy making out with her new boy toy, Hale, (KC Collins,) when she says "my Kenzi sense is tingling". She just knows something bad is about to happen, but Hale is too busy thinking of a suave pick up line in response.

At the party, Bo is ranting about how her friends left her, how Lauren and Dyson have become "the wonder twins", and how Kenzi hasn't even bothered to check on her... all to some random old man who she doesn't know.

And the moment we've all been waiting for. Tamsin (the lovely Rachel Skarsten) arrives. And...

Don't waste too much time, will you?

YES YES YES. Valkubus is on. Tamsin says "I'm sorry" and all of a sudden her lips are on Bo's lips.

Bo is all "what was that for?" and Tamsin replies "you won't remember any of this in two seconds anyway."

Right on cue, a beach ball hits a bunch of glasses, the guests yell "OPA!", the lights flicker and - 

"Groundhog Fae." Cute, Lost Girl. Cute.

Yup, Bo is back in the car and "don't forget about me this Christmas" plays once again. Repeating the day, aw yeah.

Just as she did before, Bo pushes past two guests making out, Bruce saves her from the gross lick-y Choga guy, and in comes Tamsin.

Tamsin explains to Bo that she has been repeating this scene over and over, and she can't believe that Bo actually remembers... must be because they kissed, right? So why not do it again... right?

Right.

And now for the cutest, saddest thing Tamsin ever said.

When Bo realizes the kiss didn't change much, she looks around the room and says "nada!" Tamsin's reply? (Don't even talk to me about this because I'm dying because Tamsin is so perfect and ugh.) She says "speak for yourself." SQUEE.

Aaaand sure enough... OPA! The loop begins again. Bo wakes up, goes inside, pushes the people making out aside, but... Bruce is gone. Huh?

Seems Bo is already bored of this and decides they should have some fun instead...

THIS IS MY KIND OF FUN!

Bo beats a sasquatch in an arm wrestle, Tamsin chugs a keg like a champ and then...

VALKUBUS DECIDE TO BANG IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWD OF PEOPLE. HOLY VALKUBUS. They'll all forget it ever happened anyway.

............oh right! There are other things happening in this episode. Dyson, Lauren and Vex are still getting their drink on whilst deliberating whether or not to give Bo this weird box.

Ladies and ladies, I give you The (Drunk) Wonder Twins.

Vex says he's bored of this threesome, and he will be the mediator in this argument.

But back downstairs, Bo is repeating her party once again. This time, she wakes up looking super pleased with herself. I think we all know why. (STILL FANGIRLING. HELP.)

Bo and Tamsin have a little heart to heart by the fire (SERIOUSLY, STOP. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS.) and before Tamsin can tell Bo what she needs tell her... someone gets sucked into the wall.

Yes, ladies. We're as confused as you are.

Once more, we repeat the scene aaaaaaand... Tamsin tells Bo this can't be her fault. All she did was take the bus (cute), get some gum at the gas station and came straight to Benzi Manor.

And they FINALLY realize that Trick will be the one to help them out of this situation.

Lauren and Dyson (and Vex) are still arguing over this box, by the way, that is until the drunken duo realize they have quite a lot in common and decide to hug it out. Um... Okay?

OH, and Lauren decides that she's gonna reattach Vex's hand. Drunken surgery. Wonderful news.

Unimpressed Tamsin is unimpressed.

Bo and Tamsin find Trick passed out drunk in the bath, but manage to shake him awake. (He also tells Tamsin she's pretty. Ha.)

Bo (whom Trick labels his "Grandubus") explains what is going on but before she can finish - the darned day restarts again.

It restarts a bunch of times actually, as we continually see Kenzi announcing that her "Kenzi sense is tingling" followed by Hale giving a bunch of squirm-worthy responses.

*childish giggle* heh, condoms.

It is during this scene that Kenzi shows Hale her assortments of penis protectors from Bo (which come in edible and fig-flavoured, by the way), and the audience realizes that Hale is in the same boat as Bo and Tamsin - he remembers each time loop too.

Bo once again explains to Trick what is going on, he tells Tamsin she's pretty (and she replies "I KNOW" - yes, we all know too), explains to Bo that he's terrified of The Wanderer... but once again the scene restarts.

At which point, we all want to punch the woman singing "don't forget about me this Christmas" on the radio.

Tamsin's facial expressions should have a show of their own.

This time, Bo and Tamsin try Hale for help and realize he's been stuck in the time loop too! Finally, we're getting somewhere.

Hale tells them this is definitely a Krampus prank, and that Krampus is clearly feeding on the regret of a select few.

Bo storms downstairs to the guy stood in front of the suck-y in wall, and NO! He sucks in Tamsin too.

Sometimes I get a bad screen cap but I'm too lazy to do anything about it.

Somehow, Bo and Hale figure out that both her and Tamsin (and Hale) took candy from that gas station and that's why they're stuck. Hale also reveals he's been making out with Kenzi for about four hours, and Bo tells him that's sleazy. Which it kind of is.

...and Kenzi overhears the whole confession. Oh :(

Good news though? Tamsin's disappearance has ended the time loop, so Hale gives Bo some special Yule dagger and she leaves for the gas station.

Still ship this. (Note to my friend, Mickie: YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO DOESN'T.)

Hale goes to apologize to Kenzi and tells her that he's nervous. And they did no way have sex without her remembering it.

Kenzi can't believe that he's nervous, but he tells her he's never done this with anyone he actually cares about before. SO CUTE. HELP. 

But oh dear, look what's happened elsewhere.

As much as I want to lick that, please don't turn into a lollipop.

It seems Tamsin has somehow been hypnotized and is strapped to a machine that turns Fae into candy.

Luckily, Bo uses the dagger Hale gave her to jam the machine, and Tamsin is temporarily saved.

Side note: Bruce is alive and being used as a slave because he broke the machine due to his gargantuan size. Yay!

Tamsin looks hella good in chain mail.

Bo unstraps Tamsin from the machine, but Tamsin looks super sad.

She tells Bo how it's all her fault that the Wanderer found her - years ago when she was the strongest Valkyrie that existed, she made a deal with him to find the Fae whose eyes were both brown and blue, who was neither dark nor light... And she took the deal because Bo just wasn't supposed to exist.

Bo forgives her for the past (eek), and they hug it out. And out pops Krampus!

I can't get over the "Krampus & Son" sign in the background.

Turns out, Krampus was the gas station guy (and the guy Bo was ranting to at the party) all along!

He sets Tamsin and Bruce free, but forces Bo onto his candy conveyor belt and forces her to admit that she's scared. For some reason this is all he wanted from her...

And he sets her free too. Woo! Of course, she ends up with Tamsin outside her car. Yes.

Sigh. Valkubus. Sigh.

Bo tells Tamsin that she's scared and Tamsin continues with her ridiculous cuteness by saying "I've got you." UGHHHH STOP THIS NONSENSE.

The pair of them realize that neither can go back into Bo's house, as the dark are unable to party with the light after midnight, and a wild Kenzi appears.

Quite adorably, Kenzi tells Tamsin she was worried about her, and Tamsin calls her "Moms". Nawwww.

We end with Kenzi giving Bo her box, explaining that Lauren had to leave to sober up and sew Vex's hand on properly.

And what's in the box?

A jar of black, swirly smoke. Of course.

***

ALL THE VALKUBUS. ALL THE FEELS.

What did y'all think of this episode? I can't stop watching it if I'm honest.

Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

                                                                         All images are copyright © of Showcase Canada. 

The Greatest Gay Moments of 2013

What a year it's been.

There was a bunch of amazing stuff that happened for the LGBTQ community in 2013 that it's hard to keep track of it all. Here are just a few of our favourite gay moments from last year.

Tammy Baldwin Becomes the USA's First Openly Gay Senator

If politics isn't your thing, you may have missed this. But we all know that being gay in the most powerful country in the world is still (unfortunately) often seen as a taboo.

This year, Baldwin made history by becoming the first openly gay senator (for her home state of Wisconsin) - such a monumental achievement for our community.

The United Kingdom Legalizes Gay Marriage.

You probably didn't miss this one, but we all know gay marriage should have come sooner in the Land Of Hope and Glory. Hell yeah, the Brits!

The above image was actually taken from a super anti-gay website, which is why I've chosen to use it here: because they definitely did not create this image for good... But look how great it is! The Queen is officially a supporter, get over it.

Gay marriage will begin starting March this year - and I am so excited and proud to be going to my Aunt's wedding to her girlfriend! Bring on the festivities.

Rhode Island, Delaware, Minnesota, Hawaii, Illinois and New Mexico Get Gay Married.

That's right, the USA also finally got a move on with their legalization of same-sex marriage.

6 more states (please correct me if I'm wrong here!) legalized same-sex marriage, proving that the USA really is becoming the land of freedom and equality once and for all.

Here's to hoping that this will only continue in 2014 - it looks like Utah could be next!

2013 Gave Us Some Great Gay TV.

There are most definitely too many great gay TV moments to mention in this post.

However, some of the best gay on-screen happenings in 2013 came from the Netflix original series Orange Is the New Black, in which we see Taylor Schilling and Laura Prepon (above) makin' out and doin' the nasty to no end.

BBC America's Orphan Black also gave us the ever-talented Tatiana Maslany who, whilst playing an army of other characters, brought us the delightfully nerdy queer Cosima.

On top of that, shows such as Grey's Anatomy (ABC), Lost Girl (Showcase Canada/SyFy) and Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family) continue to wow us with their portrayal of strong, female gays. And we just can't get enough!

Jodie Foster Comes Out... Officially.

Though homosexuals and heterosexuals alike could have probably told you this years ago, way back in January one of the greatest actresses of her time came out of the closet in an elaborate way: while collecting her award at the Golden Globes.

It's always great when celebs tell the world they are proud of who they are, but even better when they are as high profile as the lovely Jodie. Who do you reckon will come out next in 2014?

***

Of course there have been many more amazing moments for the LGBTQ community in 2013, but what was your favourite?

What did we miss? Let us know what you thought about 2013 in the comments!

Lost Girl S04E06 Recap: "Of All The Gin Joints."

WARNING: This article quite clearly contains spoilers of the highest level!

by Lauren W

Alright, alright, No Tamsin. (Rachel Skarsten.) So let’s see if there’s anything else we can work with here.

Who knows what's flying into that mouth?

So this week’s episode is all about… Opera?

Next thing we know, this Fae Maria Callas is singing people to death off-stage. Ah, of course.

But then we find out her poison. Her poison just happens to be super high-pitched dog whistle sounds. Oh.

So happy to see Kenzi worshipping Tamsin as much as we do.

Cut to Bo (Anna Silk) and Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) in the Dal. Kenzi is pining over a missing Tamsin, while Bo is still pondering over that darned dark alignment she’s acquired.

And the opera lady stumbles in. Bo and Kenzi run to aid her, while Kenzi slyly steals some dude’s drink in the process. Classic.

Apparently she’s Russian… And somehow she knows Bo, who has no recollection of the woman. How convenient.

Boobs o'clock #1.

Bo goes running to her Grand-daddy (Rick Howland), who tells Bo that Oprah (I can’t even attempt to spell her Fae name, so Oprah (not Winfrey) it is), needs to rest.

Trick then imparts his all-knowing wisdom and tells Bo that Oprah’s voice invokes powerful memories. Yay!

And this next pairing is what really makes this episode.

Charming.

Yup, The Morrigan (Emmanuelle Vaugier) turns up at Lauren’s (Zoie Palmer) apartment with pizza and her home brewed beer, “Dark Belch”.

This is the sleepover we always wished we were invited to.

Evony playfully kicks one of Lauren’s moving boxes, which she seems overly protective about. What’s in it? Her entire Star Trek collection. Adorable.

BOOBS O'CLOCK #2. OH. MY.

Back in the Dal, Bo and Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried) are trying to bang (snore) despite knowing it’s against Dark/Light fraternizing rules.

But hurrah! Trick saves the day and stops them before it’s too late.

And so Bo returns to Oprah.

More boobs for good measure.

Oprah is all “I sang to you and you loved it! You made me come find you!” But Bo is all “when did this shit happen?!”

So Oprah does her singing business and Bo has a weird flashback/memory type thing. Who knows what's going on at this point?

Also, apparently Bo promised Oprah her freedom, which prompts Oprah to tell her to look inside her knife.

Okay, okay. I will stop this boobs nonsense eventually.

The note in the knife handle reads “[Oprah], you will sing for me and I will bring you freedom.” What a coincidence.

Then terror strikes. Some dude in a white tunic storms into the Dal, yelling Oprah’s name. Apparently he owns her?

It also happens that he has a GPS hidden in her necklace, and if someone were to attempt to remove said necklace, it would choke her. Fabulous!

Bribing the women with knowledge. I like it.

Over at the scene we’re far more intrigued about, Lauren’s received a gift from Evony: the private journals of Charles Mayo, Albert Einstein, and Marie Curie. Cool!

Also cool? Apparently they were fellow Fae. Ha! 

(Side note: Lauren says she disagrees with the methods they used to test on humans, and The Morrigan is very respectful of that. Hmm…)

Damn, gurl. Look at those arms!

Evony explains that if she comes to work for the dark, she wants Lauren to feel free.

She also says morals are overrated, but she’ll respect the fact that Lauren gives a shit about them. Fair enough.

Back with the boring side-story, the peeps over at the Dal are setting up for a private concert with Oprah.

Calligraphy porn.

She begins to sing, and Bo has a vision/memory about when she was back on the train and she found a crown with her name on it. “Isabeau.”

Once she snaps out of it, it appears some other guy who rivals the white tunic guy has come to steal Oprah away.

The catch with this guy is, he’s programmed her necklace to explode on demand. This is some Inspector Gadget shit right here.

Thankfully Oprah needs a rest to avoid death so all is well.

Everyone knows Lauren is secretly loving this liquid courage.

Over at Lauren’s place, Lauren recites her own rendition of the Captain’s Log, rephrasing it to include Evony.

She’s also tipsy, and that is thanks to The Morrigan’s 25% alcohol beer. That’s my girl.

Anyway, Kenzi interrupts because she needs Lauren’s help.

Sorry, this is a terrible screencap but Kenzi's cheeks looked too cute to pass up.

Kenzi gets what she needs from Lauren, who explains that Evony helped her get a new dark Fae owned apartment in the city. (And Kenzi smells the flirtation. YES.)

In the Dal basement, Bo tells Oprah that she won’t let anything happen to her. And Hale (KC Collins) is lurking in the shadows, listening in.

It also appears that Dyson has made some device to listen in to Oprah’s conversations with Suitor #2, but they secretly escape. Dun dun dun.

Average day.

Bo succubus sucks Suitor #1, aka Mr. White Tunic, to find out where Oprah went.

Turns out Suitor #2 (his name’s Marcus, but that’s boring,) and Oprah were actually in love the whole time and were trying to escape from Suitor #1. Mystery solved.

Marcus and Oprah are also apparently on the way to deliver her ‘death note’ to White Tunic’s family so she can be freed. Noooooooo!

Does this look like a Shakespearean tragedy to you?

Long story short, here’s how the day is saved.

• Oprah is persuaded not to kill the family.
• Marcus uses his whistle to stop her from leaving.
• Hale enters, siren-ing Marcus, but prompting him to whip out a gun.
• Bo jumps in front of Hale to block the gun.
• Oprah jumps in front of Bo to block the gun. (Confusing, yes.)
• Oprah sings Marcus to death, killing Kenzi’s ears in the process.

Phew. What a ride.

"But wait! You didn't give me my memories yet!"

We conclude this epic with Oprah dying in Bo’s arms, just after she gives her a little gift.

Oh, but here’s the best part.

Kenzi and Hale are sat on a bench and everything is so heartfelt AND KENZI KISSES HALE. FINALLY!

Worst part? Hale secretly discovers that his ears are bleeding. Nice.

You should get that checked out, lover boy.

Back at home, Bo has a memory of again being back on the train… And she discovers the Wanderer has left a creepy hand print inside her neck.

Did I say inside? Yes. And I meant it. Gross.

Wait, I take it back. HERE is the best part.

Nope, not a cheesy music video.

Evony gives Lauren an access all areas pass to the dark’s labs, and calls Lauren “an incredible woman.”

And THEIR HANDS TOUCH.

Which doesn’t seem like much until –

YES! Get in theeeere. (Soz to be super British with this caption.)

That’s right, LAUREN KISSES THE MORRIGAN.

Okay, I super duper ship this. But then something happens which makes my hatred for Lauren increase. Yes, I almost forgot I hated her.

Lauren pulls out a mirror, and tweezes off a weird lip mask thingy. Did she just swipe Evony’s DNA or get a lip print or something? SHE’S SO MALICIOUS AND I HATE HER, MAN.

TAKE IT, BITCH.

So Bo and Dyson are doing the nasty, when Bo refuses to look at him.

They stop banging and… Oh dear, the creepy hand print is for realsies.

Aaaand enter the Una Mens! To steal Dyson away. GOOD.

Oh. Not so much a fan of this.

What did you think of this week’s episode?

Personally, didn’t love the lack of Tam Tam. Leave your thoughts in the comments!