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Showing posts with label straight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label straight. Show all posts

Monday, 7 April 2014

AN OPEN LETTER TO JESSIE J: Saying Bisexuality is a "Phase" is Problematic

by Lauren W

Today is a sad day. Not because Jessie J has claimed she is straight - we should all be allowed to simply be who we are - but because she says she has "outgrown" her bisexuality, and it was just a "phase".

(Image Source: Digital Spy)

The British starlet took to Twitter this week, tweeting I fancy/date/love men and only men. Is that “straight to the point” enough?

Fair enough, you're straight. Good for you, Jessie.

The point for discussion here is that Jessie implicated that her bisexuality was a "phase".

The Domino singer also tweeted:
Remember the thing that you tried/did back in the day. The phase you had? That is so not YOU anymore?! And you look back and think wow how I've changed. I would never do that now. Something that you don't even talk about or want to talk about anymore. Because you've moved on? That was just part of you growing up? Discovering yourself and working out what you liked and disliked.... Remember?
(Source: Jessie J via TMI)
Here's the thing, Jessie. When parents of young people hear you comparing bisexuality to other 'phases' young people go through, it sparks the thought within them that their children are also just bisexual "for the time being".

Yes, we all went through phases. But here's the thing. Saying you're bisexual is not the same as a 14-year old going through a "grunge phase", or a "scene kid" phase. 

The thing is, Jessie, you were never bisexual and you always knew this. We understand that you may have used this idea as a publicity stunt, and you may have also claimed you were bisexual because you had brief flings with women in the past. But we all know that sleeping with a woman once does not constitute bisexuality.

There are many of us who slept with men for years before realising we only wanted to sleep with women. Does that mean we classify ourselves as once straight? Of course not. I, for example, briefly dated men when I was younger, but would I say I was straight back then? No. But I presume you will attempt to claim you were bisexual at one point in your life.

It is dangerous when young girls (and boys!) hear words such as "phase" and phrases such as "I grew out of it". This can suggest to young queer people that they too will 'grow out of it' one day. Those posters of a half-naked Katy Perry on that young girl's wall? Nah, they'll grow out of it. The young boy who has a crush on his best friend? It's an anomaly, and he'll grow out of it. This is DANGEROUS. Not only could such young people have high hopes for their sexuality to 'change' and be disappointed when they still want to bang members of the same-sex by the time they reach 18, but buzzwords such as 'phase' can lead to dire consequences. 

In the worst cases, devout young religious people will lose faith in their God, whom they have prayed to for hours on end to help them change, but to no avail. (I am not championing religion here, I am simply given different examples of how this could negatively affect our youth.) Others will slump into a deep depression; some may even contemplate suicide once they realise they cannot 'grow out of it' like you supposedly have. Is this something you intended when you explained your heterosexuality? Probably not. But you definitely did not think about what you were saying before you published your words to 6.5 million Twitter followers.

Again, it's not your announced heterosexuality that is sparking such a response from ATL, it is the way in which you phrased it. Comparing bisexuality to that phase you had when you would only listen to Status Quo is incomparable on so many levels.

Next time, stars like Jessie need to think about their choice of words (see: Laurel Hollman - click the link!) when making adjustments to the way they have previously labelled themselves.

Though they may not realise what the effects of their words may be, there are people who see celebrities today as role models. We need to ensure this does not happen again.

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Men We Couldn't POSSIBLY Turn Down

Yeah, yeah, this is a lesbian blog.

But its also a lesbian OPINION blog.

And you know straight girls always have their "girl crushes"? Well we figured, why can't we gay girls have our "man crushes"?

Here's a run down of a few of the only men we'd willingly let touch our vaginas kiss us.


Alexander Skarsgård - Edward who? Twilight? What's Twilight?

Hell to the no, we like our vampires just like this one. Skarsgård, who plays reformed bad boy vamp Eric Northman, on True Blood is one hell of a guy. (Okay, maybe we've said 'hell' too much now.)

Not only is the writing on True Blood incredibly witty, Alexander makes his character the best male on the show - he's not whiny like Bill, in other words. He's bad ass.

All of this makes him a definite YES in our books.



Jesse Williams (top) and Eric Dane - Now we've stuck these two together, because they're both Grey's Anatomy veterans, but they couldn't be more different.

Yet look how suave and broody they both are. And have you seen them on Grey's? They're like the wonder-duo of plastic surgery.

And we can tell why these two were cast, if you know what I mean.


Matt Bomer - Now I've been a fan of this guy ever since he appeared in classic Eliza Dushku show, Tru Calling, but as of late, he's become more recognizable to the public eye.

Not only did he feature in super camp blockbuster Magic Mike in 2012, he can also be seen donning that swag suit of his in White Collar.

Why do we like him? Maybe its his baby blues. Maybe its the fact that he always seems kinda gay.

Whatever it is, he's a beautiful man.

SIDE NOTE TO ALL TELEVISION PRODUCERS: More female characters should wear suits. Hot, hot, hot!


Justin Bieber - Okay, okay, unpopular opinion. But we had to have at least one guy who looks like a lesbian on the list, right?

He's come a long way since 2009 when he was still that annoying kid with floppy hair.

He may be a douche in interviews/all real-life situations, but look how gorgeous he is!


Robert Downey Jr. - I mean, who can resist Iron Man, for Christ's sake?!


Mark Harmon - Oh, Mark Harmon. The older, wiser man.

You may be thinking "is this a joke?" NO. This is no joke. Mark Harmon is hot and always has been. Don't believe me? Check out some of his older photographs.

Most people know him as special agent Gibbs in NCIS. And that is part of what makes him hot. Super hot.

Either that, or we just have Daddy issues...


Who did we miss that you're forever calling your "guy crush"?

I know, I know, Taye Diggs should have made the list. Anyone else?

Let us know below!