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Monday 2 December 2013

Lost Girl S04E04 Recap: "Turn To Stone."

WARNING: This article quite clearly contains spoilers of the highest level!

by Lauren W

Phew, this was one hell of an episode!

There are a bunch of things that made this episode better than the last three combined, so let's get started, shall we?

We open to Bo (Anna Silk) training in a boxing ring with... Bleh, it's Dyson (Kris Holden-Ried). BUT - 

Lost Girl wastes no time.
Yes, he takes her pants off within three minutes. Oh p.s. there's a creepy gargoyle watching them getting their rocks off.

An hour later, Kenzi (Ksenia Solo) is taking care of baby Tamsin, apparently teaching her how to twerk, when Bo comes home.

This girl is on fireeeeeeeee!
Unfortunately Bo can't get through the door at first, because Kenzi has set up a trap to stop evil Fae from getting in. Oh. Is Bo evil? Maybe we'll find out.

Bo questions baby Tam Tam about who she works for, but Tamsin explains she can't remember because she was reborn. Convenient. Aaaand Kenzi and Bo decide to go out to party.

Come on, don't leave Kenzi out. Wink wink.
Give it three minutes and Bo has already gotten all of the lovely people shirtless and dancing to some very bisexual music.

Meanwhile, Massimo (the druid guy) is once again all up in Kenzi's grill asking her to pay him for the magic he lent her.

Who needs a ceiling fan when you're a valkyrie?
Back at Benzi Manor, some creepy ninja guys try to kidnap Tamsin, who uses her power to scare them shitless. And then she hurts her back. And... Is this the real Tamsin (Rachel Skarsten) coming back?!

Over at the Dal, Bo and Kenzi are getting down to the Spice Girls (British shout out, aw yeah) when...

Gotta say, not loving the decor.
It's another gargoyle. Still a mystery. And Kenzi shows Bo her awesome new Fae powers.

But no one really cares about that too much because LOOK.

Not gonna lie, my first thought was "yessss, she came back naked."
Yup, when Kenzi and Bo return home, Tamsin is back to her old self. Weeeeee. (Well, a very young minded, 2 week old Rachel Skarsten self.)

So Bo takes Tamsin to Dyson to figure out what is going on because - oh fun! - Bo and Kenzi were also robbed while they were out partying.

Bo leaves and Tamsin asks "Who's that girl?"

That photo of Kenzi (top right) looks suspiciously like a Ksenia Solo photoshoot...
Dyson explains to Tamsin that this woman (Lauren) is lost, and it's down to them to find her.

Speaking of, Lauren and Crystal (Ali Liebert) are chained up in some dungeon-type place.

Unfortunately, this is not a sex dungeon.
A weird voice calls out: "Long time no see, Lauren. Or should I call you Karen?" Creeeeeepster.

Back in the city, Kenzi is kidnapped by some tough guys, but Bo gets there first and beats them to a pulp to save her best friend. Sent by Massimo, it seems.

Oh, Kenzi. Always with the perfect hair.
Kenz explains to Bo that she knows who robbed them (Massimo) and Bo is kinda disgusted. Seems she knows the guy. And he sucks.

They go to see Massimo and make a deal: they get their stuff back if they also get him some herb from Lauren's apartment. Okay? So off they go, with a lovely threat of death from Bo to Massimo on the way out.

YouTuber or Big Brother contestant?
Lauren figures out that they're being watched and that whoever is watching them wants her to look under the tarpaulin in the room. Playing games, are we?

Also, Crystal seems to be unable to keep her mouth shut. She tells Lauren she only slept with her because "they" told her to. (What a doll.) But then she admits that it changed things and she gained real feelings for her. Lauren reminisces how she once also "spy-banged" Bo. 

What a morally glowing pair these two are.

"I'm not the only whore in the room. Good."
Lauren tells Crystal the story of why she ran away from her life as Karen. She actually ends up confessing to accidentally killing 11 people with her brother after she made some explosives. What a LOVELY LADY.

After such a tell-all tale, the voice watching them is all "lol bitch, I don't care about that, just look under the damn tarp." And so she does.

"For me?! The chemistry set I always dreamed of!"
The voice explains that an elder needs her diagnosis within one hour or they kill Crystal. At which point, Lauren realizes "this is light Fae bullshit." (Her words, not mine.)

Back in Lauren's apartment, Bo realizes she doesn't know Lauren. At all. She doesn't even know her name.

With that face, there are definitely plenty more fish.
Kenzi (quite easily) finds the herb they need while actually sticking up for Lauren. And also while feeling super guilty about not telling Bo that she sorta kissed Dyson when she was away.

They then realize they can't get out, because Massimo has fire trapped them inside.

Mommy, why is the fire blue?
Back over at police wolf headquarters, Tamsin is being adorable as ever.

She also asks Dyson what love feels like, which is kinda cringey, but he does explain that when she feels it, she'll know.

Pow Pow. So cute.
She also admits that she thinks Bo hates her. Nawww.

In Lauren's apartment, Bo and Kenzi realize that Massimo has actually proofed the place so that Fae don't get out, so obviously, Bo washes Kenzi's fairy dust magic away by dumping a bucket of water on her head.

Kenzi is, not surprisingly, unimpressed. Nevertheless, she leaves to collect the ingredients to take down the fire so that Bo can get out.

While she's gone, Bo goes snooping through Lauren/Karen/Amber's things and finds a box and a card.

Warning: May contain feels.
She reads the card aloud (uh, very realistic), which says "For giving me the freedom to love. And I do." No. I don't want to ship them. Shut up, past Lauren! (Oh also, the box contains a super pretty - and probably expensive - necklace.)

All of a sudden, Bo becomes startled and thinks it's the wanderer.

Turns out, it's this guy again. And in true Lost Girl fashion, there is never an explanation for it.

Kenzi returns and breaks down the anti-Fae barrier, while Tamsin (back at the police station) realizes that she has some pretty nasty scars on her back.

Apparently today is confession Monday, because Kenzi becomes so overcome with guilt that she tells Bo she kissed Dyson, when - wait for it - SHE ONLY WANTS TO KISS HALE! (KC Collins.) Yes yes yes yes!

Obviously Bo is mad at her because of all the lying she's been doing. But Kenzi love/likes Hale so I don't care. YAAAAY!

However, she does tell Kenzi that she's not alone and she has her back... but Kenzi brings up the fact that Bo left her for so long, and Kenzi recognizes that she's just not "one of them", no matter how hard she tries.

Hmm. I don't like smug Bo.
Bo goes back to being angry and right on cue, Dyson calls. Fabulous.

He tells her that he's lost Tamsin. Great. And Bo quickly figures out that if Massimo has Kenzi's hairbrush, which has also brushed Tamsin's hair, then maybe that's where she is. Because valkyrie hair apparently has some desirable qualities? I guess I missed this part.

This is way too kinky for someone with a child's brain.
He straps Tamsin to a chair after he tricks her into thinking that he's just protecting everyone from her monstrous side.

He gets all creepy with her hair, and luckily Bo walks in. Unfortunately he gets the better of her and holds a knife to her neck but, wait, what's this?

Holy pegasus!
Whoa, Tamsin has wings!

Oh looky here, Lauren has a diagnosis. Apparently this elder has been feeding off his own kind (blood relatives - ew) which is turning him insane. Incestuous goodness. 

Lauren also thinks she's outsmarted whoever is holding her captive. She's all "if you used your brain, you'd have figured this out" and then shows off the fact that Kenzi taught her how to pick a lock and her handcuffs fall right off.

Chains and handcuffs. Big Brother really got brutal this year.
Lauren attempts to make a deal: she'll treat the elder if they let Crystal go. Then she just gets cocky and yells "Did I pass your ridiculous test? Because if I did, you can come on out, Hale!"

Hale? Oh no. Dr. Lauren has been outsmarted because I get the feeling that it wasn't Hale who did this. (Side bar: HAHAHAHA THE ALL KNOWING DOCTOR GOT IT WRONG. HA. HA. GLOAT. GLOAT. Okay, I'm done.)

Calm, down Angel face!
Tamsin gets super-valkyrie on asshole Massimo, but Bo asks her not to kill him. 

Tamsin doesn't really love that idea though, because she thinks Bo despises her. It's time for Bo's confession now, as she admits that she doesn't hate Tamsin. And in fact, she thought she was incredible.

Ugh. I love them.
They hug, and Tamsin utters "that's what love feels like." DOES THIS MEAN SHE LOVES HER? PLEASE SAY YES. I CAN'T. GO ON WITHOUT ME.

Bo tells Tamsin to leave and Massimo informs Bo that Tamsin is in fact on her last life if she has her wings. NOOOOOOOOO.

Loser boy.
Here's a run down of the things we learn within the next two minutes:

1) Massimo is not a druid. He's actually human. Ha!
2) It was most definitely not him who sent the gargoyles after Bo.
3) Massimo explains that gargoyles threaten whoever threatens their masters. (Elder Fae.)
4) He needs Tamsin's hair "for his mother."

Then he cries. Pahaha. Bo throws the hair in the fire, prompting him to jump in after it. Oh. Goodbye then.

Mmm sweaty Bo.
Back in the boxing ring, Bo tells Kenzi she doesn't hate her. Yay! They make up and all is well.

They go home and Dyson explains to Kenzi that he can teach her some tricks to help her become a little more Fae. NOW you tell us?!

So... Hairy.
Then he admits that he's lost Lauren. Whoops. But he does vow to find her. It appears that they are all warming up to Lauren a little.

In the final scene, we're taken to wherever the hell the Una Mens live. And this is THE BEST PART.

One of the Una Mens tells Bo that their intention was to "eliminate the unaligned succubus." In other words, they just wanted to get rid of the unaligned part.


She then goes on to say "your blood has spoken. You have chosen a side."


Apparently Bo is unaware too because she just asks "what side?"

Holy tits, whaaaat?!
As the music intensifies and the camera slowly zooms in, the Una Mens replies:

"You are dark."


OOH. OOOOOH! I kinda always wanted her to be dark.

But what does this mean? How on Earth did Bo choose to be dark when she wasn't even aware of it? What is going on? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

What did you think of this week's episode? Better than last week's, right?

Comment below - we love to hear from you!

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